How You Can Help Your Child Make Friends

Learn what you can do to ELIMINATEā€”not just manageā€”the anxiety about making friends.

Step 1: Watch this video.

Step 2: Click the button below to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.

Do You Have a Child Who Has a Difficult Time Making Friends?

In the video above I taught you:

  1. The REAL reason your child has a hard time making friends (and it's not what you think).
  2. Why he or she feels isolated, and you just can't seem to help, no matter what you do.
  3. What you can do to ELIMINATEā€”not just manageā€”the anxiety about making friends. Really.
  4. How you can replace loneliness and fear with genuine peace and happiness in your child.

Look for these Signs and Learn What They Mean

Do you see the symptoms of social awkwardness in your child? Do you see these behaviors or conditions in your childā€”the signs of anxiety and stressā€”on a regular basis?

Fear

Do you see a fear of making decisions? Sometimes awkward children are paralyzed with a fear of making decisions or by a generalized anxiety that they canā€™t even put their finger on. 

Avoid groups

Do they avoid gatherings with other members of the family? Or stay in their room if guests come to your house?

Little contact

Do you see your child playing video games and other isolated activities, without much contact with friends?

Reluctance

Are they sometimes reluctant to go to schoolā€”or just plain refuseā€”for various vague reasons?   

Distracted

Do they have a short attention span?

Feelings of guilt

You might see more than usual feelings of guilt or worthlessnessā€”perhaps said in the common phrase, ā€œI canā€™t do anything right.ā€

Depressed

Socially awkward children tend to demonstrate a depressed mood, or loss of interest in their usual activities, or decreased energy.

Isolated

Do they live small, limited lives, failing to engage in the world around them?

Worry

Do they worry? This is a big one, so Iā€™ll repeat it: Does your child just have a look of worry and sadness on his or her face much of the time? There might be words, there might not.  

Alone

Does your child consistently come home from school alone? And rarelyā€”if everā€”does he or she visit with friends in their homes?

No conversations

Have you noticed that they donā€™t talk about conversations with friends? 

Frustrated

Do they get frustrated with doing things and just quit in the middle of jobs or homework or even games?  

Loner

Do they mostly spend time by themselves? 

Pessimism

You might sense pessimism, that nothing works out for them, accompanied by frowns and a shrugging of their shoulders consistent with futility.

Anxiety

You might hear them talks about how bad things are in the world, or in his or her own life.

If you see any of these signsā€”or a lot of themā€”this can be pretty scaryLacking friends isnā€™t just a social problem. Itā€™s a personal disaster for those afflicted with this condition.

They become difficult and hard to reach. Itā€™s like your child is slowly disappearing into a dark and lonely world.

Youā€™re worried. What would you give to have a happy child back? What would you give to see your child smiling at a friend?

There IS a Solutionā€”

How to Help a Child who has Difficulty with Finding Friends 

I'm here to tell you that there IS a solution, and weā€™re not talking about falsely encouraging your child or saying things that will make them feel more defectiveā€”as we often do.

Weā€™re talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being again. 

Welcome to the answers you've been hoping for.

For a long time now, youā€™ve been looking for ways to help your child be more self-assured and happier. I greatly admire what youā€™re doing right now. Youā€™re looking for answers ā€” youā€™re trying to love and help your child ā€” which is way more than most parents do.

And finally, youā€™re in the right place.

You've Been Desperately Looking for Help with Your Shy Child

Itā€™s like youā€™ve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and nowā€”almost unbelievablyā€”itā€™s here. This is the ship youā€™ve been looking for.

How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children be happyā€”which includes them having friends.

I know how to help children who are depressed. What I teach has been used by uncounted THOUSANDS of parents, and it works CONSISTENTLY.

Iā€™m not trying to sell you something here that weā€™re GOING to do. You donā€™t have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, Iā€™ll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that youā€™ve never known.

I repeat: Iā€™m not here to tell you ABOUT what Iā€™m offering you. Iā€™m beginning now to GIVE you what you need. Itā€™s my gift to you, whether you continue with me or not.

What a relief to know that right now youā€™re exactly where youā€™ve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child. 

And Iā€™m going to help you do that.

Your Child Canā€™t Easily Make Friendsā€”and is Not Happyā€”and You Want to Do Something About It

I know youā€™ve tried to change things: lots of talking and attempts to reassure them, maybe counseling, certainly lots of ideas from books and programs, encouragement, and a ton of worrying on your part. But your child is still alone and unhappy.

And youā€™re frustrated and tired.

Youā€™ve been looking for something that works, and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.

You would not be here unless two things were true: 

  • (1) you have a child who is friendless and often anxious; AND
  • (2) you care enough to do something about it. Good sign.

If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what Iā€™m going to share with you, predictably I see children lose their social anxiety and learn to find friends. The anxiety just disappears, and instead they become happyā€”even after everything else has failed.

You become happy too.

It is NOT hopeless.

Iā€™m here to help you, and Iā€™ll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the worldā€”and much more.

You are about to change the world around you, and you donā€™t have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. Youā€™ve already proven that with your own experience.

What You Will Learn That You Donā€™t Already Know 

So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to say about reducing your childā€™s social anxiety that you havenā€™t already read or heard somewhere?  

This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing itā€”over and over.

To see the answer, letā€™s start with an infant. When an infant criesā€”other than from obvious physical painā€”what does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. Youā€™re pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED. 

Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if youā€™re genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.

But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. Theyā€™re adorable. 

But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . .

and sometimes they just give up the fight and feel lonely and anxious. Theyā€™re alone.  They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really donā€™t know what to do. Usually we try to control their behaviorā€”and we might even temporarily succeedā€”but it doesnā€™t last, and we end up with kids who are still alone and anxious.

Weā€™re not so happy either.

Loving Your Children Unconditionally

Let me say this another way:

If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we donā€™t know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.

If we love them unconditionally, weā€™d love them no matter what.

But if loving them becomes more difficult when theyā€™re difficult when they behave badly, our love is conditional.

Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the ā€œloveā€ we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, which does not include the symptoms of depression.

The Real Effect of Anger and Disappointment

Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. Thatā€™s what unconditional love means.

But we really donā€™t know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.

Deep inside, you know that what Iā€™m saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you donā€™t. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when weā€™re angry at other people, weā€™re all saying, ā€œLook at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.ā€

In anger, weā€™re focused on OURSELVESā€”Me-Me-Meā€”and in that moment other peopleā€”notably our childrenā€”hear only four words, ā€œI donā€™t love you.ā€ When weā€™re angry, weā€™re far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.  

I repeat:

When we are angry at another person, including our child, they hear only, "I don't love you."

I promise you that this is true.

No, we donā€™t MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? ā€œI donā€™t love youā€ is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at youā€”think about it honestlyā€”and itā€™s what our children hear and feel when weā€™re angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.

Itā€™s little wonder that they respond with their own anger.

Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.

But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionallyā€”which means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditionsā€”so how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.

Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We donā€™t know how to love unconditionally because weā€™ve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.

Childhood and Teenage Social Anxiety is a Reaction to Not Being Loved Unconditionally

For emphasis, Iā€™m going to say all this in a slightly different way:


When children or teenagers are afraid to make friends, it is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionallyā€”loved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger.

This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the worldā€”at the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, anger, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.

THERE is the proofā€”in our addiction to all those behaviorsā€”that overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.

Children and Teenagers Who are Loved Unconditionally Don't Find It Difficult to Make Friends

Iā€™ve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty: When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT get anxious around other people and doesnā€™t not have difficulty with socializing, with very rare exceptions. 

Instead theyā€™re HAPPYā€”and responsible, and have all those qualities you wish they had.

With sufficient love, there is simply no NEED to feel sad, low, discouraged, or depressed. Happy people donā€™t behave badlyā€”like being depressed, for example. Period. Full stop. It seems almost like this statement is too broad, too much. Itā€™s not.

Why You're Not succeeding in Helping Your Children Make Friends

How many times have you wondered why a child isnā€™t hearing what youā€™re saying? Thereā€™s an answer, and here it is: Because when youā€™re irritated, your child hears only ā€œI donā€™t love you,ā€ and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.

So THAT is what I'll be teaching you: 

How to LOVE your children unconditionally, 

which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.

If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you ā€”what youā€™re really sayingā€”because theyā€™re not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the ā€œI donā€™t love youā€ message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anythingā€”like how to be loving and responsible themselves.

And if they have that powerful trifectaā€”they feel loved, and they are loving and responsibleā€”they are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.

Your Children Can Learn to Be Happy

Your children can learn that being happy feels way better than simply numbing out with isolation, and they will consistently choose happiness.  

Take my hand, and weā€™ll talk about what you can doā€”and how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. Youā€™re going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.

If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences youā€™ll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.

Imagine it: 

no more fear

no more worrying, 

no more anxiety,

no more feeling alone,

no more complaining about being alone,

no more withdrawal from the family,

no more loss of interest in everything, 

no more having to constantly encourage and reaffirm,

no more tension in the family.

Itā€™s astonishing to see and to feel.

Our children are not bad. Weā€™re not bad. 

We just have not known how to love and teach them.

Loving and Teaching Eliminates Anxiety in Children

What weā€™re doing with our kids with their anxiety and loneliness IS NOT WORKING.

Loving and teaching them does.

Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors youā€™re dealing with, not if youā€™re really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.

Youā€™re about to learn how to ELIMINATE the anxiety, stress, lack of worth and other conditions in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.

I make you another promise:

Learning to be a loving, effective parent is EASIER than everything else youā€™ve done as a parent.

Transforming, Not Managing Your Children

Weā€™re really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. Weā€™re not looking to make your children more manageable. Thatā€™s not even close to being enough.

Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. Itā€™s a transformation.

If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, Iā€™M fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacularā€”as we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.

There is not a single thing youā€™ll ever do that will ring through the ages more powerfully than being a loving and effective parent.

You can do this, so let's get started.

Click the button belowā€”itā€™s freeā€”to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.

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