- March 20, 2018 at 12:28 pm #33897
Can we have a discussion on practicing Real Love with your spouse after discovering that he or she has been unfaithful in the marriage. I unfortunately find myself in this state after 35 years of marriage. We are trying to repair the marriage and that is how I found the Real Love material. As the betrayed partner emotions are all over the place and it’s been hard to have compassion and forgiveness. Also not to feel shameful and a disappoint to God.March 20, 2018 at 8:04 pm #33901
Hi Angel. I’ve read your post and can see you are in a lot of pain. It’s understandable And it has nothing to do with you. Infidelity is always about the emptiness that the person cheating is trying to fill. I have a couple of quick suggestions and will follow up with more tomorrow. Since I don’t want to assume anything, it would be helpful to know if you are the wife or husband. If you don’t have the book Real Love in Marriage, I’d suggest that you get the book and read it with your partner. There are also a lot of Daily Coaching videos and other messages on Infidelity from Greg in the Master Index. There’s actually a post on how to use it here in the Forum.
Until you feel loved yourself it is going to be nearly impossible to repair anything. That’s why your emotions are such a mess. We can talk about how to find the Real Love you need if you want.
Love,March 21, 2018 at 10:28 am #33915
Thank you Karen for your kind response. I am the wife. My husband and I are reading through the “Real Love in Marriage book and are on day 31”.
There are challenges to understand the content and especially to do the homework attached to each day. And yes I am thinking almost every day on how to find the Real love I need to heal and move forward without blame, attacking and acting like a victim of this devastating reality in my life and in our marriage. I have been pro-active in taking care of myself and trying to heal my heart in several different ways. Yet the pain is still raw. Thanks you for the suggestion on looking at the Master Index.March 21, 2018 at 8:51 pm #33934
I’m happy to hear you both are reading the book. That’s a good thing–although keep in mind that you can’t feel love from a book. It can absolutely give you knowledge and teach you about the Real Love principles I think it would be a good thing for you (or both of you) to interact with others in the Real Love Community. First, if you belong to Facebook, there is a Real Love Group. If you decide you want to join, send a friend request to Donna Baer. She is the admin for the group. There are also conference calls with coaches. They are listed under Services. Following are some events you could look into in date order.
Sharolie Jansen (Real Love Coach and presenter) is doing a tele-class based on the original book (Real Love, the Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships). It starts Sunday, April 1 for five weeks, 6:30-7:30PM cst. $90
Retreat with Greg Baer in Rome, Georgia, April 20-21. These are usually limited to 12 people. Look under Store/Events and Seminars for pricing and more information.
Third Annual Real Love Fest in Crestone, Colorado. Memorial Day, May 26-28. $198 until April 30, $298 starting May 1. For retreat information see http://www.reallovefest.com.
Feeling the love of others is what heals while you are truthful about your own behavior.
Sending you a big hug.
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