January 30, 2014 at 9:35 pm #6941AnonymousInactive
I am going to try to learn to love my job. I want to be grateful for what I have. I really have it made to have free time for other passions in life because I work from home. I enjoy teaching architects and meeting creative people in the industry and I also enjoy traveling and seeing some of the most amazing places.
In 2014 I’d like to be grateful for my job and find a way to communicate with my boss that is best for us both. We hit and stab at it and often he leaves me hanging until something is beyond urgent. I can’t say it’s all him or all me but we both suck at this relationship. I have learned I am unloving to him and confuse him.
I would like to not be so hard on myself. I always believe there’s more to do than humanly possible. I know personally from this week and my review that he thinks I am a great Architectural Rep with great potential. (That would have been nice to know when he called me at 7 am to do my review in my pajamas) I teetered thinking I could have done much more even though I brought in millions of dollars in new blood to the company.
I’d like to take my work more seriously. I feel obligated in a negative way to do my job but ethical in another way to do it. I’d just like to do the next right thing without the judgment or angst feeling.
I’d like to play more this year. I work from home and find myself at my desk working or taking calls almost all of my free time. I miss dancing, movies, walks in the harbor and just great conversations with people because I go to church, group, then home to work or talk to Real Love people.
The bottom line is I feel I have been emotionally and intellectually lazy in my approach to what is really a wonderful opportunity. I have no accountability but my own integrity and when I forget I am loved that disappears as well. I have to have reminders in my home like post it notes of Daddy’s sayings or pictures of my loving friends around to keep reminding me that I am loved. I would like for my work to reflect my worthiness regardless of how anyone else views it.
Open to suggestions and welcome teaching here.February 3, 2014 at 8:59 pm #6988
Hello Debra. Are you looking for discussion or feedback? Hugs.February 4, 2014 at 2:20 am #6989
I love both Karen but I’d say whatever teaches me where I lack would be best.February 6, 2014 at 11:29 am #7079AnonymousInactive
Given your truth telling here, it sounds like you are too concerned about how your goals for this year action plan will affect you. I suggest you ‘give up’ the focus for your needs and simply make choices to be more loving/productive/honest/responsible whatever TRUSTING that doing the right thing will automatically bring you more peace and joy. You are worthwhile and loved. I am here for you.February 12, 2014 at 12:34 pm #7187
I bog in the details… for sure and then I am unclear.
The peace that came was this. I do love the benefits of my job. Im happier realizing where I should have been grateful for this opportunity. I will be going back to school which will fill some of my alone time in a way that I will enjoy… LEARNING WHOO HOOO….This is my season and I deserve what’s happening 🙂February 14, 2014 at 6:07 am #7202AnonymousInactive
This is what I see…
You are trying to earn love – through being a hard worker… the best… always doing above and beyond. That angst you feel is an addiction to earning approval – pleasing others so you can feel worthy. Everything, even fun (going back to school) is about making yourself ‘better’. You don’t feel worthy, and give yourself pep talks to try to fix it. I totally see you… right there, and feel closer to you because of it. I have lots of experience there myself! 🙂
Yes, this process has “worked” pretty well in the past. You’ve certainly done well for yourself in your job(s). Employers love people-pleasers!
But, you’re getting kinda tired of all that work, and still feeling alone and empty a lot of times. You know what it feels like to be unconditionally loved, and that imitation praise and approval feels more empty than ever. Reminder: every time you try to earn love, you are eliminating the possibility that you will feel loved. I love you anyway.
So…. what’s the truth? Can you totally trust it?February 14, 2014 at 2:10 pm #7213
The truth is that I am at peace with loving my job. I am going back to school and that is fun to me. I am happier being grateful for my job. I will have less time alone as a result which also makes me happier. I deserve this season and I am peppy by nature. I personally believe deeply in my heart that EVERYTHING in my life comes from GOD for my good and his glory.February 14, 2014 at 3:02 pm #7215AnonymousInactive
Cool. I’m happy for you and grateful to share your journey.
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