Posts

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Why Do I Sometimes Act So Badly?

Christine called, and I could almost feel her shaking her head. "I just do not understand," she said, "why I treat James so badly sometimes. Everything is fine for a while, and then I blow up at him. Later, when I look back, what he did to provoke…
Victimhood: A Swath Of Destruction
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Victimhood: A Swath Of Destruction

When Stacy and Hank were married, their hopes were electrifying and contagious. They were bright, educated, and physically attractive. No one at the wedding had the slightest doubt whether these two would have a rich and fulfilling marriage. In…
Do You Want A Dictatorship Or A Relationship? - Real Love Blog
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A Dictatorship or a Relationship?

The following blog was written by Jonathan Baer. Recently, as I spoke with a couple, Sarah said that her husband, Todd, was not helping her with the recycling. "I AM helping," Todd said. "She just doesn't like the way I do it." They…

Making Love Radio Show Clip

Listen to a clip of Greg talking about the first of four rules for a healthy relationship from the Making Love Radio Show. https://www.reallove.com/wp-content/uploads/mp3/RadioMakingLove-Clip-2.mp3 For more free video and audio clips of…
Living in Fear, Living in Death - Real Love Blog
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Living In Fear, Living In Death

When I asked Jennifer how she was doing, she said, "Okay, I guess." "If you're guessing whether you're even 'okay,' you must not be doing all that well." "I suppose not." When people "guess" and "suppose" a lot, it almost uniformly…
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Loving With vs Loving Despite

On many occasions people have asked me how you can love somebody despite their being angry, or selfish, or stupid, or whatever. The problem here is typified by the use of the word “despite.” If I claim to love you despite your flaws: *…
Three-Inch River Rocks - Real Love Blog
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Three-Inch River Rocks

Several days ago a woman angrily complained to me about some behaviors of her husband that were irresponsible and lazy. After listening for a minute, I said, "Now that you have the load in your yard, it's a little late to complain about it." She…
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It’s in the Delivery

I talked by Skype to John and Julie and asked them how they were doing. “All she ever does is criticize me,” he said, obviously unhappy. “Give me a specific example,” I said. John described how earlier that day she had come…
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Changing the Subject

Heather was talking to her husband, Adam, and said, “I feel like we don’t do anything together.” “But I do lots of stuff with you,” Adam said, and he began to name some activities they had shared in recent days and weeks. I was…
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Why Partnerships Fail

We find partners in the hope that they will heal our wounds and make us happy. But they are not equipped to do that, and when we discover this—which we refused to see from the beginning—our partnerships fail. Learn how to have the unconditionally…
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Knowledge vs. Ability

Louis called me and said, "I just can't believe I keep doing this." "Doing what?" I asked. "I've read the marriage book. I've read several of the other Real Love books too, and I've been working at this for months now, but I keep getting…