Posts

Do You Want A Dictatorship Or A Relationship? - Real Love Blog
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A Dictatorship or a Relationship?

The following blog was written by Jonathan Baer. Recently, as I spoke with a couple, Sarah said that her husband, Todd, was not helping her with the recycling. "I AM helping," Todd said. "She just doesn't like the way I do it." They…
Living in Fear, Living in Death - Real Love Blog
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Living In Fear, Living In Death

When I asked Jennifer how she was doing, she said, "Okay, I guess." "If you're guessing whether you're even 'okay,' you must not be doing all that well." "I suppose not." When people "guess" and "suppose" a lot, it almost uniformly…
Three-Inch River Rocks - Real Love Blog
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Three-Inch River Rocks

Several days ago a woman angrily complained to me about some behaviors of her husband that were irresponsible and lazy. After listening for a minute, I said, "Now that you have the load in your yard, it's a little late to complain about it." She…
why-partnerships-fail
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Why Partnerships Fail

We find partners in the hope that they will heal our wounds and make us happy. But they are not equipped to do that, and when we discover this—which we refused to see from the beginning—our partnerships fail. Learn how to have the unconditionally…
real-love-blog-knowledge-versus-ability
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Knowledge vs. Ability

Louis called me and said, "I just can't believe I keep doing this." "Doing what?" I asked. "I've read the marriage book. I've read several of the other Real Love books too, and I've been working at this for months now, but I keep getting…
True Listening - Real Love Blog
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True Listening

True listening means focusing entirely on the other person—their words, their fears, their needs. Learn how to listen to and unconditionally love others by reading Real Love for Wise Men and Women.
Shades of Gray - Real Love Blog
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Shades of Gray

I observed two people talking about making a choice in their relationships. One of them said, "There are many ways to see this. It's confusing. It's not like life is black or white. It's all shades of gray." Overall, it's not true that life…
When "love" dies - Real Love Blog
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When "Love" Dies

Real Love in a relationship almost never dies. When “love” dies, almost invariably it never existed in the first place. Nobody brought it to the relationship. Learn how to create the loving, lasting, fulfilling relationships you've always…
trust-honesty-real-love-blog
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Time Means Nothing

We talk about the importance of time in “getting to know” people. But time means nothing. It’s only with trust and honesty that we really become intimately connected. Learn how to have fulfilling relationships by listening to "The Truth…
marriage-tomb-real-love-blog
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Marriage—The Tomb of Love?

"Marriage is the tomb of love." (Giovanni Giacomo Casanova) Sadly, this is too often the case, but it need not be so. Get your Free Report "Real Love Marriage Tips — 5 Guaranteed Steps To A Marriage You Will Love".
Why-Marry-Parents-Real-Love-Blog
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Why Do We Marry Our Parents?

Recently I spoke with Mark, who described his mother in rather unflattering terms: critical, controlling, nagging, ungrateful. After a couple of minutes I said, "It sounds like you don't enjoy being around your mother much." "No, I really…
truth-love-quote-real-love-blog
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The Truth and Love

Although passion can certainly light the fire of a relationship, only the truth and love can sustain it. Learn how to sustain your relationship with the truth and love here:
Why Men And Women Cheat - Real Love Blog
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Why Men and Women Cheat

Not long ago–on separate occasions and within a two-week period–I met two women, Lisa and Janine. Their stories were strikingly similar. Each of their husbands had cheated on them. They were devastated at the betrayal of this infidelity.…
problem-quote-real-love-blog
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Solve the Problem

In a relationship, anything that consistently gets between you as an issue—money, sex, kids, whatever—is the thing that will end you. Solve the problem. Now. Solve the problems. Don't let them end you. We have the solutions here. …
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Sixteen Ways To Say I Love You

Although most of us thirst to hear the words I love you, they can also be unsettling—even frightening—because in the past these words have been associated with experiences that were not entirely pleasant. It’s very common for people to…
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Asking For Help

Earlier today I received a call from a man, Bob, who is engaged and making preparations to get married. He and his fiancée both own their own homes, so they made a decision that he would sell his home and move into hers. In the process of putting…
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"Thank You," not "I Want"

Bill told me that Joan was always spending time with everybody but him. They were both retired, and Bill said, "I feel like I'm by myself all the time." I asked a number of questions, and it turned out that Joan spent about half her waking…
infinity-quote-real-love-blog
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One Plus One

With love, one plus one is infinite and eternal. Without love, one plus one equals misery. Infinite, eternal happiness - learn how to find and share it here: Or start learning how with this free report here:
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The Rules of Marriage

I have extensively written and spoken on the subject of marriage. See, for example, the book, Real Love in Marriage. Sometimes, however, it can be helpful to keep a simple list of guidelines that can easily be referenced for the sake…
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Real Love—Doing Vs. Feeling

Recently I was asked the following insightful question: “Real Love sounds like a noble goal, but if we really love people unconditionally, won’t we end up loving everybody the same? I can’t imagine loving everybody the same as my wife,…
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Choices: A Matter of Life and Death

Not long ago a man — we’ll call him Bill — was talking to me about an argument that he’d been having with his wife, Melissa. After hearing people describe a few thousand of these conversations, I’m impressed with how similar they really…