Posts

We Can’t Afford to Wait for Crises

Every day someone—usually several people—calls me in some degree of crisis. Sometimes I ask them who have they been connecting with, where have they been getting loved, and what they’ve been doing to maintain the love and happiness in…

Making Real Love Calls

In the Real Love community, people commonly encourage each other to “make more Real Love calls.” That sounds like wise counsel, because more calls should equal more love, right? Not necessarily. We all have a tendency to believe that…
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It’s Not Just about the Water

We all know that plants require water. So if we want them to grow, we just give them more water, right? Not necessarily. In some desert environments, more water is simply not a possibility, so botanists have bred varieties of seed that are…
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I've Tried Everything!

Connie emailed to say that her husband, David, had presented her with a contract. As you read it in the following paragraph, keep in mind that David has struggled with alcoholism all his life. "I have decided to go back to drinking. But this…

Are We Doing Our Best?

On the whole, I believe that we do our best with the knowledge and abilities we have. Parents don't try, for example, to hurt their children. The injuries parents inflict are a result of their simply not knowing how to be loving. We don't try…

Jumping in Cold Water

Morgan called me to describe how unhappy he was with his life: marriage, kids, career, everything. I made some suggestions, but the next week when I talked to him, he hadn't done anything different. "I seem to remember," I said, "that you…

Living in Fear, Living in Death

When I asked Jennifer how she was doing, she said, "Okay, I guess." "If you're guessing whether you're even 'okay,' you must not be doing all that well." "I suppose not." When people "guess" and "suppose" a lot, it almost uniformly…