Posts

Bad Behaviors

Someone wrote on Facebook: “Behaviors are neither good nor bad. They just ‘are,’ and we choose them consciously or not.” It is SO tempting to believe that there are no “bad” behaviors. We WANT to believe this, but only because…
Climbing The Eiger - Real Love Blog
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Climbing the Eiger

In Switzerland there's a mountain called The Eiger, which rises more than 13,000 feet above sea level. It's a popular mountain for climbers, but it's also quite dangerous, having claimed dozens of lives over the years. One of the dangers of…
Stretch Through The Pain - Real Love Blog
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Stretch Through The Pain

A few years ago I began to experience increasing pain in my left knee, with accumulation of fluid in the synovial space. When non-prescription, oral anti-inflammatory medication proved ineffective, I saw an orthopedist, who discovered that my…
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Pain Is Information

The primary motivation of nearly every human being is to decrease pain. Understandable. Who likes to be in pain? But pain is INFORMATION. It tells us that something is WRONG, something that may injure or even consume us—something we need to…
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Who We Really Are

When we look in the mirror, only rarely do we see who we really are. Instead we see our accumulated responses to pain, which cover up who we really are. Free yourself from the pain of the past and uncover the REAL you by reading Real Love…

Just One Look

A woman sat on the couch in front of me. Within a second or two I said, “All your life you’ve been in so much pain.” She burst into tears, and after a minute she asked, “How could you know that?” I took her by the hand and led…

No Joy in a Minefield

Decreasing pain isn’t nearly the same as finding love and happiness. There is no joy in a minefield.

Pain and Joy

If we can’t endure the pain inherent in learning, we’ll never experience the joy to be found on the other side.

One Look

A woman sat on the couch in front of me. Within a second or two I said, “All your life you’ve been in so much pain.” She burst into tears, and after a minute she asked, “How could you know that?” I took her by the hand and led…

Needless Pain

Perhaps the greatest tragedy of mankind is not the endless repetition of needless pain, but the failure to identify and address the true causes.

Carrying a Mountain

Most of us have carried a mountain—of pain, fear, lies, and more—on our shoulders for so long we don’t even recognize it. Then when we stumble on a pebble, we blame the pebble while ignoring the mountain.

A Skinned Knee

Sylvia called and said, “I’m exhausted. All day long I’m running around taking care of Jack and Lewis, my pre-schoolers. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.” “Like what?” I asked. “Give me a specific example of something…

What It's Like to be Loving

We cannot know what it’s like to be loving without encountering pain and injustice anymore than we can become physically fit without exercise.

See People As They Are

If you resolve to see people as they are—invariably in some degree of pain—your anger will vanish, and no one will be able to invade your soul again and steal your happiness.

We Can’t Afford to Wait for Crises

Every day someone—usually several people—calls me in some degree of crisis. Sometimes I ask them who have they been connecting with, where have they been getting loved, and what they’ve been doing to maintain the love and happiness in…

Just Do Stuff

Without sufficient Real Love, our lives can only be an endless series of choices made from a place of emptiness and fear. We can’t act from who we are. We act from pain, as though we were nothing more than automatic reflexes—blind and mindless.…
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Removing Porcupine Quills

I am told by an expert that removing porcupine quills from a dog takes two people. One person pulls the quills, while the other covers the dog's eyes so that it will not associate the pain with the people. This is important because if the dog…

Help

When we’re in pain, we’re quite insane. Often we can't dig out of the pit, but loving people can throw us a rope and help us into the light.

The Truth

The truth can be very painful in the beginning, but we cannot learn or grow without facing it boldly.

THE Wound in Life

A lack of Real Love is THE wound in life, and until we address it, our pain will express itself mindlessly and endlessly, causing even more pain.