Knowledge vs. Ability

Louis called me and said, "I just can't believe I keep doing this." "Doing what?" I asked. "I've read the marriage book. I've read several of the other Real Love books too, and I've been working at this for months now, but I keep getting…

There's No Single Recipe For Life

When I was a kid, nobody talked much about cooking. You just boiled, baked, fried, or peeled it, and then you ate it. But then Julia Child and others made cooking look fun, and a profusion of books and articles followed, along with an occasional…

I Play Music

Vladimir Horowitz was one of the greatest pianists of all time. He had an emotional, musical expression and clarity of technique that was distinctive. He was so good that when Sergei Rachmaninoff heard Horowitz play Rachmaninoff’s infamously…

Make Mistakes

I’d rather make mistakes with you than live in fear of making them.

Life is Good

Life is good. Mistakes are inevitable. Learning from them is a choice.

Mistakes Are Inevitable

Mistakes are inevitable. What matters is whether we admit them and learn from them.

Phrases That Mislead Part 2

In Real Love groups, conference calls, and other interactions, certain phrases have crept into use that are not consistent with the principles of Real Love, or that might cause confusion by their use. Recently I began a discussion of such phrases Phases…

Freedom to Learn from Mistakes

Because we have the freedom to choose, we also have the accompanying freedom to choose to be stupid. We need not feel bad about that, just learn from the mistakes.
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Starting Over

I have a friend who is a general contractor. On many occasions he’s been asked to provide an estimate for what it would cost to remodel a house or commercial building. He inspects the foundation, the walls, the plumbing, the wiring, and more,…

Lighten Up

Lighten up. We’re all just making mistakes together.

Acting From Fear

If you’re trying not to make a mistake, you’re already making one, because you’re acting from fear.

Making Mistakes

Making mistakes isn’t a problem. Denying them is.

Admit Your Mistakes

I talked today to a victim who refuses to tell the truth about herself, so now she’ll lose her marriage—not because of her mistakes but because she won’t admit them.

Laugh at Your Mistakes

Until you can laugh at your mistakes, you’ll be ashamed of them, you’ll hide them, and you’ll be more likely to repeat them.

Risks vs. Regrets

In the end, it’s not our mistakes we’ll regret, but what we didn’t learn, which requires risking mistakes.

Learn from Mistakes

If I don’t learn from them, mistakes suck me down into the slimy pit of the past, and shame, and addictions. But if I learn from them, mistakes become just stepping stones. My choice entirely: the pit or stepping stones.

Smart and Wise

There is no way to smart and wise without lots of stupid and foolish. We must embrace and not fear that path.

There Is No Past (Video Clip)

We can’t be happy in the present if we carry the past into it.


The key to growth is not a secret: Leave your mistakes behind, and take your lessons and wisdom forward.

Small Aberrations

Our mistakes and flaws are just small aberrations in the overall loving fabric of the universe.

Tell the Truth

Mistakes don’t keep us from being happy, but denying them certainly does. Tell the truth about your mistakes and find freedom.