The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

Loving Other People More Than Ourselves

On many occasions I’ve heard people propose the idea that we should love other people more than ourselves. On the surface, this sounds like a potentially attractive idea. When people hear it, they almost uniformly nod their heads in deep…
Two hands forming an infinity sign with a definition of love.

A Definition of Love

A Definition of Love It's Real Love when I care about your happiness without wanting anything from you in return. It's Real Love when you care about my happiness without wanting anything from me. This is a very important definition of…
What does real love look like?

What Does Real Love Look Like?

As a principle alone, Real Love is transformational. As I have taught the definition and nature of Real Love to people all around the world, I have been impressed with how they have lit up with understanding. As they have realized the role of…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

It’s Easy When You Know the Difference

Over the years I’ve done a lot plumbing around the house, and years ago I decided—for hydraulic reasons few would care about—that if water flooded sufficiently from the creek, I would need to temporarily block the flow of several four-inch…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

It’s Not About Forgiving

Suzanne called and said, “I’ve been doing Real Love for a while now. I’m happier, more peaceful. Stressful events simply don’t stress me out as they once did. My relationships with family members are all better.” “But—” I…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

Two Keys to Great Relationships

Every day I talk to people about the problems they’re having with their relationships—with spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and more. Although the content has infinite variations, the most common fears are these: * I’m afraid…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

Pearls from Winnie the Pooh

In the 1920s, A.A. Milne wrote several books and poems about Winnie-the-Pooh, a living teddy bear with friends who typified—with wit and poignancy—many of the qualities of us as humans. Recently a friend sent me 20 lessons gleaned from Winnie-the-Pooh,…


The moment we think somebody else is our problem, we have a problem
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

Be Aware When You Speak

For decades I have been watching people interact with each other. In the past twenty-five years especially, I have paid close attention, and my observations are not entirely complimentary of us humans. Without meaning to, we are constantly sharing…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

The Elegance of the Solution

For many years I was a scientist—first as a high-temperature, high pressure chemist creating molecules never before seen, and then practicing the science of medicine and surgery. I discovered that often there were many solutions for a given…

Forgiving People

Forgiving people is easy when you realize that their “offense” is really just an expression of their pain.

You Are the Best Opportunity

If you are loving, you may be the best opportunity other people will ever have to know what God’s love is like.
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

The Light of Hope

I spent a long day with Wayne. From the beginning, it was obvious that he’d experienced little love or happiness in all his life. I described an account I had read of a man who’d been imprisoned for 26 years. Evidence was discovered…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog


Recently I was talking to Sarah, who was acting like a victim and fully occupied with being angry, right, right, and right. And this was immediately after she had asked me for HELP with her unhappiness. When someone is unhappy but insists on…

Do They Feel Your Love?

If you really want to know how loving you are, ASK some of the people close to you—spouse, children, parents, friends—if they feel your love.
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

We Have to Let Our Partners Be Themselves (Video Clip)

Oh, the temptation to control our partners is strong, but when we try to control them, our relationship is in big trouble.

Productive Conversation

You’re not done with a productive conversation until you see a look of peaceful completion in the eyes of the other person. It’s a kind of handshake with the eyes.

Make Mistakes

I’d rather make mistakes with you than live in fear of making them.
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

Real Love in China

Recently I heard from a man who runs a psychology clinic in Yanbian City, China. He has read all ten of the Real Love books that have been translated into Chinese, and I have visited their facility there, as well as the university in the city.…
The Path to Loving - Real Love Blog

The Path to Loving

The path to loving is steady and guided by immutable laws. The way to irresponsibility and insanity, on the other hand, has many internal shortcuts and is easy to find.