Judgment—By What Standard?

Not a day goes by without my hearing people expressing pain about what they've done with their lives, what they're doing now, and who they are. At every turn, guilt and self-criticism seem to reign. Although the individual expressions vary,…

We All Want Our Wounds to Heal, but Without Pain (Video Clip)

There is no way to heal from the wounds of our life without pain, but trusting makes the pain much, much less.

Touching Wounds

I once had a conversation with Monica, a woman who had been severely wounded emotionally by her mother almost every day of her life with criticism, screaming, belittling, and more. She responded by manipulating people, arguing with them, and…

Real Love Heals

With every wound, physical or emotional, we lose both strength and the ability to make some choices. Real Love heals the emotional wounds.

We Need Healing

It’s not more analysis of our problems that we need, but healing of our wounds.

Love Can Heal Those Wounds

The trauma of an unloving childhood is so severe that it can destroy any possibility of happiness for a lifetime. But love can heal those wounds.


We are all deeply flawed, and nearly all of us are terrified that this makes us less than worthwhile—which is a deadly lie. We need only be AWARE of our flaws and allow the love of others to heal our wounds while we work on the flaws, one…

Expose and Heal

We cannot rise above the restraint of our wounds until we expose and heal them, rather than protecting them, which is our natural instinct.


You can feel loved without conditions, but confidence comes only with work, risk, failure, pain, and recovery from apparent disaster.


If you are sufficiently afraid of more pain, you will not be able to endure what is required to heal.

Fatal Distraction

If we don’t understand the very old wounds we carry around, we become fatally distracted by our unconscious responses to the pain instead of healing the wounds.

Fix the Foundation

You can't build a solid house on a rotten, shifting foundation. If you were not unconditionally loved as a child, that is the kind of foundation you have, and no effort you put into the walls, windows, and doors will ever produce the results…

One Example of Healing--Elena

Markus and Charlene called to tell me about their daughter, Elena, age twenty. Elena had already been in therapy for eleven years, with quite a variety of diagnoses: depression, bipolar disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, attention deficit…

That Insidious Nut Grass

For years I have cultivated acres of gardens in my backyard, and in the process I have discovered that certain patches of ground have been more resistant to my guiding hand than others. Throughout the yard there is considerable variation in…