A picture of Mt. Everest with the title "I'm Shivering on Mt. Everest"

I'm Shivering on Mt. Everest

A couple called me and described their family. The two of them often bitterly quarreled. The children were in various kinds of trouble at school and otherwise. Not infrequently, the father hit his children and his wife. This was a family in…

Less Pain Is Not Happiness

Living with a High Level of Emotional Pain   Almost all the people you talk to are experiencing a fairly high level of emotional pain. They have little to no experience with feeling unconditionally loved. That lack of love guarantees…

Things To Do When You Just Can’t Quite Find Happiness

Being unconditionally loved in person is a powerful experience. It can change your life. But sometimes unconditionally loving people are not readily available, and we’re left wondering what to do with our time. If we do nothing, or if we fall…

Ten Steps to Being HAPPY!

I received the following email from Eileen, someone whose life has significantly transformed since adopting the principles and practices of unconditional love. I am NOT advocating that other people “should” follow the pattern described by…
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Need, Want, and Hope

Joann called me to talk about how she had tried to use Real Love to help her adult son, Max, who was lost, wandering, and miserable. “I really WANT to help him,” she said. “Listen to yourself carefully. Listen to the tone with which…
The Ultimate Goal - Real Love Blog

The Ultimate Goal

The ultimate goal is not to prolong life but to enrich it, to fill it with love and joy.
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How Can I Create Happiness Everywhere I Go? (Video Clip)

If you take the principles of feeling loved, loving others, and being responsible with you everywhere, you’ll always be happy.

Good, Fast, and Cheap

Recently I was getting my chain saw blade sharpened, and there on the wall of the shop was a sign: We do three types of jobs here: Good, Fast, and Cheap You may choose any two, but only two! If you want it fast and good, it won’t be…

Phrases That Mislead Part 2

In Real Love groups, conference calls, and other interactions, certain phrases have crept into use that are not consistent with the principles of Real Love, or that might cause confusion by their use. Recently I began a discussion of such phrases Phases…


Improving on who we are is a lifelong effort, but if we first don’t value and celebrate who we are now, we’re missing out on the joy of our lives.


Alesha has been having difficulties loving and teaching her son, Michael. He resists her about his homework, household chores, outbursts of anger, vulgar language, being late to everything, and more. He wrote me to find an ally, but I wrote: “Michael,…

Choose Happiness

We can choose to be happy, or we can choose to be miserable, which—ironically—requires more effort.

Laws of Happiness

God is always by your side, but if you deviate from the Laws of Happiness, the natural consequence is that you simply cannot FEEL Him there.

The Price of Lies

When you buy the lies of the past, the price is to give up your happiness in the present.

Grieving Disappears

Most grieving is for what we hoped could be—we grieve for the loss of a dream. When we see that, we can move on to find happiness in the present—and grieving disappears.

The Worst Service Ever

Donna and I were on a cruise with two of our sons, and on the second day we were expressing how grateful we were for the service, the weather, the enjoyment of each other’s company, and more. A woman and her husband got on the elevator with…


If we’re unhappy, we are WRONG. In some way our beliefs are wrong—incompatible with the peace that is universally available.


The behaviors that enable us to survive are often the very behaviors that keep us from being genuinely happy.


Happiness cannot successfully be pursued. Each day, however, I can identify some trait or behavior I want to improve, and as I do that, I will become happier—not all at once, but gradually.

What We Really Need

“You can never get enough of what you do not really want.” (Eric Hoffer) We work so hard—spend our lives, really—to get what will never make us happy. I choose to spend my life finding what I really need/want.