Posts

Love and Like

The word “love” has a great many meanings, and for that reason—among others—it can be a source of enormous confusion. We say, for example, that we love our children, our lover, our spouse, and our friends. But we also say that we love…
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You Don’t Buy Me Flowers

A man called me one day, heartbroken that his marriage was falling apart. “For years I’ve given her everything she wanted—literally everything—and now she says she’s just not happy anymore, and I don’t know what to do.” Then…
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A Stack of Blocks

Cynthia was complaining to me that she had girlfriends who were having “all the fun” in life. “What kind of fun?” I asked. “They have boyfriends all the time, and they talk about having sex, going dancing and drinking, stuff…
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Is It Appropriate to Point Out Your Partner’s Flaws? (Video Clip)

When and how should we point out to our partners and others that they’re behaving in unloving ways? https://youtu.be/a0jgA1qfwQs
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What Can You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Return Your Love? (Video Clip)

In some relationships, your partner may appear not to respond at all. What can you do then? https://youtu.be/pmn3iFZkWBM

Too Many Words

I had known Martha and Brian for several months at the time I was speaking to both of them on Skype. Martha had launched into a monologue about Brian’s crimes. After I raised my hand for several seconds, Martha finally stopped talking.…

The Dangers of Dating

Every day or two I get a question somewhat like the following: “I’ve been married twice and have been in quite a number of other relationships—obviously not successful ones. I’m just beginning to learn about Real Love, and I’ve…
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When Do You Let a Potential Partner Go? (Video Clip)

We all carry enough of our own baggage. Why carry our partner’s too?
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Starting Over

I have a friend who is a general contractor. On many occasions he’s been asked to provide an estimate for what it would cost to remodel a house or commercial building. He inspects the foundation, the walls, the plumbing, the wiring, and more,…
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Is It Possible to be Happy Single? (Video Clip)

It’s one of the great myths of the world that in order to be happy, we have to be in an exclusive relationship.  
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The Exchange

The moment I need you to be different, our relationship is over. Now all we can do is exchange expectations and manipulations, with unavoidable disappointment.
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The Great Secret to Successful Dating (Video Clip)

You do not want to avoid rejection in dating. You want to get to it sooner.

Picking out Loppers

Sylvia called and said, "I'm so confused about relationships. I feel stupid." "You probably are stupid about relationships," I said. "Almost everyone is, but that's not a problem, IF you're willing to see it and change it. You can fix stupid.…