How Being Wrong Creates Happiness (Video Clip)

To have a great relationship, we need to know what creates happiness and love and be willing to freely admit it when we make mistakes.
Ways to Say I love you

16 Ways to Say "I Love You"

Although most of us thirst to hear the words I love you, they can also be unsettling — even frightening — because in the past these words have been associated with experiences that were not entirely pleasant. It’s very common for people…
The truth about Falling in love

The Pacific Slide

Every day I talk to several people who are experiencing serious conflict in their primary relationship. In nearly every case the couple was initially in love, but over time the "in love" feeling slipped away, becoming a distant–often painful–memory. What…

Who Is the Key Person in a Dating Relationship? (Video Clip)

How can dating work where only one partner is interested in practicing Real Love?
, , ,

The All-Powerful Bridge Of Trust

After watching Lisa express her anger at Paul, her husband, for several minutes, I interrupted. "You don't trust him." "Sure I do," she said. "I just don't like many of the choices he makes." "You mean most of his choices." Her silence…
Real Love Newsletter

Door Decisions

Mike called me in a real panic about his relationship with Rita, his girlfriend of several months. “Rita’s lease will run out at the end of the month, and she can renew it, or we’re thinking of having her move in with me. What do you think?” “I…
, ,

A Dictatorship or a Relationship?

The following blog was written by Jonathan Baer. Recently, as I spoke with a couple, Sarah said that her husband, Todd, was not helping her with the recycling. "I AM helping," Todd said. "She just doesn't like the way I do it." They…

Guidelines for Dating, Physical Contact, and Progression

One advantage of being old is the years of observing where so many behaviors lead. Some behaviors appear innocent in the beginning, but they are just the precursors to disaster. Others have proven over time to be safe and wise. My comments here…

Three-Inch River Rocks

Several days ago a woman angrily complained to me about some behaviors of her husband that were irresponsible and lazy. After listening for a minute, I said, "Now that you have the load in your yard, it's a little late to complain about it." She…
, ,

Why Partnerships Fail

We find partners in the hope that they will heal our wounds and make us happy. But they are not equipped to do that, and when we discover this—which we refused to see from the beginning—our partnerships fail. Learn how to have the unconditionally…

Love and Like

The word “love” has a great many meanings, and for that reason—among others—it can be a source of enormous confusion. We say, for example, that we love our children, our lover, our spouse, and our friends. But we also say that we love…
, ,

You Don’t Buy Me Flowers

A man called me one day, heartbroken that his marriage was falling apart. “For years I’ve given her everything she wanted—literally everything—and now she says she’s just not happy anymore, and I don’t know what to do.” Then…

A Stack of Blocks

Cynthia was complaining to me that she had girlfriends who were having “all the fun” in life. “What kind of fun?” I asked. “They have boyfriends all the time, and they talk about having sex, going dancing and drinking, stuff…
, ,

Is It Appropriate to Point Out Your Partner’s Flaws? (Video Clip)

When and how should we point out to our partners and others that they’re behaving in unloving ways?
, ,

What Can You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Return Your Love? (Video Clip)

In some relationships, your partner may appear not to respond at all. What can you do then?

Too Many Words

I had known Martha and Brian for several months at the time I was speaking to both of them on Skype. Martha had launched into a monologue about Brian’s crimes. After I raised my hand for several seconds, Martha finally stopped talking.…

The Dangers of Dating

Every day or two I get a question somewhat like the following: “I’ve been married twice and have been in quite a number of other relationships—obviously not successful ones. I’m just beginning to learn about Real Love, and I’ve…

When Do You Let a Potential Partner Go? (Video Clip)

We all carry enough of our own baggage. Why carry our partner’s too?
, ,

Starting Over

I have a friend who is a general contractor. On many occasions he’s been asked to provide an estimate for what it would cost to remodel a house or commercial building. He inspects the foundation, the walls, the plumbing, the wiring, and more,…
, ,

Is It Possible to be Happy Single? (Video Clip)

It’s one of the great myths of the world that in order to be happy, we have to be in an exclusive relationship.