Controlling someone or helping them wisely.

Controlling Someone vs. Illustrating Wiser Choices

Have you ever been accused of being "controlling" but you thought you were just helping someone? Read or listen to Real Love and learn the difference. It will bring peace to your life and to the lives of your loved ones.  

Tendency to Control People and Things

Get rid of your fears and you will not need to control people and things. Watch this video clip: Would you like to hear Greg's voice every single day?!? Become a member of and watch hundreds of…

Parents and Power (Video Clip)

A child's behavior is powerfully impacted by the parent's use of Power.
pushing the boulder
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Pushing the Boulder

I talked to a woman, Ilene, who was utterly overwhelmed with the responsibility of controlling her children, bossing her husband around, and worrying about everything. "You look exhausted, honey," I said. "I'm worn out." "Like you're…

Why We Continue To Be Stupid (Video Clip)

We get something from being irresponsible but we get genuine happiness when we CHOOSE how we feel. We are no longer controlled by other’s actions.

Out of Control

The phrase “out of control” generally has a bad reputation. Riding a horse who is “out of control” is usually associated with unpleasant results. Investors tend to avoid a stock market that is out of control. When fires rage out…

The Fewer Things You Need to Control, the More You Can Control

All day, every day, I listen to people tell me of their pain, fears, struggles, misery, and even their joy. From uncounted examples, I have identified a few patterns that are reliable and from which we can learn how to be happy. One of these…

The Futility of Self-Defense

Frequently people call me to complain about an argument with someone who falsely accused them of some offense. “No matter what I said in my defense,” the caller says, “The other person just rolled his eyes and continued to attack me.”…
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Discover the freedom and peace that comes from finding Real Love for yourself—and then learn how to share it with others—by reading this Free Report "The Simple Secrets of a Happy Life and Fulfilling Relationships".  
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People Really Don’t Like to Be Controlled (Video Clip)

If you can learn to stop controlling the people around you, they will tend to WANT to be with you, follow you, and do business with you.

Learning from Silence

Miranda was raised in a nightmare of anger, criticism, and fear. Everyone thus wounded responds in a variety of ways to protect themselves, and Miranda’s favorite tool was controlling. She called me and said, “The more I learn about Real…

The Downside of Healing

Renee called and said, “Frank can be so controlling. And then I get angry, and I’m right back where I was a year ago.” “Do you feel more loved by wise people now than you did six months ago?” I asked. “Oh yes, by a lot.”…

Ways to Spell, “Drop Dead” (or “You’re an idiot,” or “Stick your head in the toilet”)

Because we have been taught to avoid the pain of disapproval, we also tend to avoid expressing disapproval to others in a way that is too severe, because generally that is followed by the sharp disapproval of the other person. So we’ve learned…

The Effect of Video Games (Video Clip)

The hysterical fears aside, what exactly is the detrimental effect of video games?

How to Speak Up Without Controlling

Melissa called and told me that her husband, Scott, often laughed at things she did and criticized what she said. “How do I get him to stop it?” she asked. “Oh, you don’t GET him to stop anything,” I said. “So you’re…


The problem with trying to control things is that you make it impossible to get so much MORE than you thought was possible.

Helping vs Controlling

When the world is a frightening place—almost invariably a result of insufficient Real Love in childhood—we do whatever it takes to limit our pain. One way to accomplish this is to limit the unknown, because often there is pain—real and…

Identification of Controlling

In many places I have written about the unspeakably harmful effects of controlling people. Briefly, when we control people: * We trample their right to make their own choices, which is easily the most important right belonging to anyone. *…