Posts

A picture of Mt. Everest with the title "I'm Shivering on Mt. Everest"
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I'm Shivering on Mt. Everest

A couple called me and described their family. The two of them often bitterly quarreled. The children were in various kinds of trouble at school and otherwise. Not infrequently, the father hit his children and his wife. This was a family in…

The Memory of an Elephant

I have a good friend who flies planes and helicopters on large game preserves in Africa, including parts of the Serengeti. On occasion he is required to herd elephants with a helicopter, urging them to move to places that are safer from poachers,…

The Bilge Pump

Linda called and said, “I’m tired of dealing with that woman from HR (Human Resources). Every few days she has some kind of complaint about me or our department.” After talking with Linda for a couple of minutes, it became obvious…

The Drunken Party

I received the following letter from a remarkable fifteen-year-old girl, and I copy it here without comment. It needs none. Friday night was my prom, accompanied by the whole shazam: fake tan, manicure, buckets of makeup and—of course—the…

Control Over Our Thoughts

We have no more control over the thoughts that come into our mind than we have over the flies that land on our skin, but we do have control over whether we leave them there to lay eggs.
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We Cannot Keep Doing the Same Thing and Get Different Results (Video Clip)

In order to genuinely change our lives, we must be willing to give up pretty much everything we ever thought we knew. https://youtu.be/lqiv0bqY6HM

I Play Music

Vladimir Horowitz was one of the greatest pianists of all time. He had an emotional, musical expression and clarity of technique that was distinctive. He was so good that when Sergei Rachmaninoff heard Horowitz play Rachmaninoff’s infamously…
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When We're Afraid, We Lose the Ability to Choose (Video Clip)

When we’re afraid, we are captives and lost. Only as we lose our fear can we make true choices. https://youtu.be/uy84ENeqlDk
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The Language We Use

Marcus called to talk to me about a conversation he needed to have with his boss. Marcus was a people pleaser who was afraid to disappoint anyone, so he tended to accept every job that was given to him, even when he was already overwhelmed.…
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Lunch or Life?

A friend wrote me to describe a documentary he had just seen on television. A cheetah has recently eaten and is not actively hunting. But he sees an antelope and her baby, so he decides, “Why not have some lunch?” (Apparently the Narrator…

In the Pit

One day I was talking to Henry about changing the mess he’d made of his life—and marriage and children—and he said, “This is impossible. I’ll never be worth anything. I’ll never be happy.” “If you had sufficient experience…

A Bad Day

Martin called me and said, “I’ve had a bad day.” If Martin had been entirely new to Real Love, I might have said, “Tell me about it.” But he’d been familiar with Real Love principles for several months, so I said, “I’m not…

Stumbling

I have climbed many a mountain slope. Nothing like the cliffs of El Capitan, but still mountains requiring exertion and skill. In the process I have learned that few steps are absolutely certain. Sometimes the only way to find out the stability…

Controlling the Fire

As I work in the backyard—pruning, picking up sticks, cutting down trees that are failing under the overhead canopy, and more—I generate large piles of material that need to be burned. The city will carry away small amounts of brush, but…

Faith Comes From Making a Choice

Faith comes from making a choice and taking action, not from gathering evidence and creating the illusion of safety.

Tapping a Maple

From early childhood, we learned to fear the pain of disapproval from others, and for most of us that fear continues into adulthood—as we demonstrate by a variety of behaviors. One way we avoid disapproval is by avoiding mistakes, which we…

The Big Picture

In college I majored in chemistry, and I was fascinated at how I could combine basic elements and simple molecules to create molecules of increasing complexity—especially if there was some kind of explosive as a product (I was young). Chemistry…

The Freedom of the Open Water

Once there was a great sea captain—the greatest navigator and sailor the world had ever known. His skills were legendary and even mystical. As he got older, he realized that he wanted to build one final ship to sail around the world. As…