Pruning Early

I have a great number of plants growing in my backyard, most of which I planted, intending them to be a decorative feast, as well as to serve functions like shade, hedging, and more. But many others plants are simply “volunteers,” which…

What Happens If I Don’t Move

Lorraine had made fairly good progress toward happiness in Real Love for a year. But then she came to me and said, “I seem to have hit a plateau of some kind. I had lost a lot of my fear. I feel much happier than I used to, but now my growth…

Real Courage

Real courage is a matter simply of redefining our comfort zone, which leads to an exponential growth in our universe.

Learning and Growing

If we're not finding life difficult to some degree, we're probably not learning and growing enough.

The Next Step

Julie had been unhappy all her life, but with Real Love that condition was changing dramatically. With growth, however, there are always bumps in the road. One day I was describing a next step that Julie might take, and she complained that it…

“I Don’t Understand”

People are unhappy primarily for two reasons: They never received enough unconditional love, from childhood to the present. They were taught lies that distort their choices and feelings, making happiness very difficult. The solution to…

When Making Changes

When you’re making changes in your life, you need the opinions of people who are not you.

Move Forward

It’s far better to stumble along the path, moving forward, than to remain comfortable and unmoving on the couch.

Choose and Change

We can let circumstances determine how we feel, or we can choose how we feel and thereby change the world around us.

Steps to the Next Answers

As we continue to learn, we discover that “the” answers we once had believed become only steps to the next answers.

A New Planet

I’ve watched thousands of people suffer beyond description—from fear, pain, regret, anger, old wounds, present relationships, loneliness, and much more. They live in worlds that are twisted to the point that happiness isn’t even a possibility.…

The Lopsided Tree

My yard is filled with trees, mostly oak and hickory. One mature oak grew close to the concrete pad that extends out from the foundation. It was about eight feet in circumference at the base, 85 feet tall, and 120 years old. It provided lovely…

I Reached for It, and . . .

I talked to an athlete who told me about a moment during a game where it was up to him to make an unusually difficult move that would determine the outcome of the contest. He reached for the strength and the speed he needed, and it just wasn’t…

Change in Perspective

By itself, a change in perspective doesn’t get you anywhere at all. But it CAN completely change your direction, which makes every other good thing possible.

On Fire

So many of us are asking for advice about redecorating the house—our lives—while it’s on fire. We have to put the fire out first, but we stubbornly cling to our need to redecorate.


In the process of growth, invariably we must leave behind old beliefs, even old relationships. When we cling to the past, we remain stuck and unhappy.

Single True Thought

With a single true thought we can change our perspective, our feelings, and our behavior. Rarely will such thoughts be comfortable.

Take a Major Step

If you need a major change in your life, take a major step. Many of us spend all our time and resources taking little steps that never move us forward.

Giving Up Power to Change

Victims expect someone to save them, but in that expectation they give up the power to change their lives.