Posts

Stopping Evil

The other day I received the following letter: "Recently I read the following quotation: 'All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.' (Edmund Burke) The same evening my wife and I were eating in a restaurant,…

Laws of Happiness

Sometimes as I'm counseling people I say things like, "Your anger is destroying your life, your marriage, and your children." Commonly, they respond with something like, "Are you telling me I shouldn't be angry? It's not like I try to be.…

2, 5, 8

Frank and Paula came to see me, and I asked them to describe a single example of a conflict between them. Paula said to Frank, "Yesterday when I was late leaving the house, you were really angry at me, and I didn't like it." "I was not,"…

Jumping on Broken Glass

Jill called me and told me that she was so angry at her husband she could spit. She began to deliver a litany of his "crimes," and after thirty seconds or so I said, "Do your feet hurt?" "What?" she asked. "My feet?" "Yes, your feet. When…

We Need a Little Crazy

At a very young age Temple Grandin was diagnosed with autism. She could not relate to the feelings of other people and often became overwhelmed by noises and other changes in her environment. Most people considered her a cripple, but her mother…

Who's Responsible for a Hurricane?

The burden of guilt in our lives is unspeakably oppressive--and so confusing. Our society is utterly obsessed with who's at fault. Who can we blame? After a murder, for example, far more effort and publicity are devoted to catching and punishing…

So Many Tools--Responding to Conflict, Anger, Marriage Problems, and More

We've had an unusually cold winter here in Georgia. In the past twenty-five years, for example, the two outside faucets have never frozen, but this year both pipes extending from the house to the faucets froze and cracked. I repaired the pipes,…

The Sinking Sands

I once enjoyed a hike in the vast Arabian Desert. I had never seen so much sand. Everywhere I looked there was sand, punctuated here and there by a wisp of vegetation or a passing camel or two. I watched a caravan of jeeps, and for some time…

The Trap of Being Right

Last night I hosted the weekly video chat on RealLove.com, and I was impressed — as I have been on so many occasions — with the comments of people who have been living the principles of Real Love. One woman, Allie, talked about how much…

Remembering 9/11: Anger---The Terrorist Inside Us

I wrote this article only five days after the terrorist attack on the World Trade Centers. This contemporary account of that unforgettable day is as relevant and powerful now as it was 5 years ago. Five days ago, a coordinated attack took…

So much anger! Are You a prisoner too?

Welcome to the blog that will change the rest of your life. There is so much talk in the news about the destructive forces on the planet: AIDS, malaria, malnutrition, war, racism, and so on. But we're not paying attention to one influence that…