Posts

Forgiveness Is Not Enough

Human beings—flawed by nature—make lots of mistakes, and we tend to make them in a way that negatively affects other people, mostly because other people are simply in our vicinity when we’re selfish, angry, thoughtless, stupid, critical,…

Anger

We’re not punished FOR our anger. We’re punished BY our anger.

Words That Matter, Part 8

We’re often careless with our words, and some of them are so laden with negative meanings that we cause great harm without realizing it. Recently I began a discussion of such words, Words That Matter Part 7 Words That Matter Part 6 Words…

Words That Matter, Part 7

We are often careless with our words, and some of them are so laden with negative meanings that we cause great harm without realizing it. Recently I began a discussion of such words, Words that Matter Part 6 Words that Matter Part 5 Words…
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Partners

I get a great many questions from couples who endure and even nurture varying degrees of contention. When doing a task together, for example, they argue over who is doing the most work, and whose work is the most important, or noticed, or rewarded.…
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Words That Matter, Part 4

We’re often careless with our words, which is dangerous, because some of them are so laden with negative meanings that cause great harm without our realizing it. Recently I began a discussion of such words, Words That Matter Part 3 Words…
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Arguing

Disagreements are inevitable, but arguing is evidence of a lack of confidence in who you are.

The Disease of Unfocused Anger

Cynthia called and said, “My ten-year-old, Brad, is always picking fights with his younger brother and causing disturbances in the family. If you can think of an annoying behavior, he does it.” “Your son is simply expressing his pain…

What If Everybody Did It?

I was talking to Mark, who spends a considerable portion of his day expressing anger at his wife, children, employees, other drivers, and more. When I pointed out a particular instance of his anger, he replied, “It was no big deal. It’s…

Loving People

By loving people, you may not stop them from being angry or stupid, but you will lessen the negative effect they have on you.

A Moment of Anger

One ounce of poison has a negative effect greater than the positive effect of a basket of food, much as a moment of anger can overwhelm many loving acts.
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Nagging

Nagging is stupid. If you’re nagging, you’re doing all the work, while the other person just sits there and goes deaf.
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Right?

We always have a right to get angry, but that doesn’t make it right to do.
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Angry

There is no situation you can’t make worse by getting angry.
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Starting Over

I have a friend who is a general contractor. On many occasions he’s been asked to provide an estimate for what it would cost to remodel a house or commercial building. He inspects the foundation, the walls, the plumbing, the wiring, and more,…

Who We Are Not

We are not the sum of our opinions, although we demonstrate this mistaken belief by how strongly we insist on being right.

The Four Laws to Eliminate Unhappiness

The Punji stick is a simple spike made out of wood or bamboo, generally placed upright in the ground and hidden by leaves, brush, or other natural camouflage. They were used in the Vietnam war—among other places—and were placed in paths…

Love Instead

Often we are outraged at injustice, but this only feeds the anger that is everywhere. Let us love instead, which has a much greater power to right wrongs.

I Was Wrong

Few words have greater power to eliminate conflict and create love than "I was wrong." I choose to speak them, rather than attack others.
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Angry

If we’re angry, we’re wrong. Thinking about the many ways we’re right will never change that.