You Keep Yourself Worthless

When a parent frowns at a child, she hears this: "When you don't do what I want—when you are not the person I want you to be—I become disappointed and irritated. I love you only when you meet my needs and don't inconvenience or frighten…

It's A Miracle!

Listen to these inspiring stories of a cop, a convict, a lawyer, a mother, a teacher, and many others who—with the power of Real Love—transformed their lives. “This book has given me hope. If all these people can find the miracle…
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Use Your Words

Every day I see or hear about children who speak with anger—even rage—at their parents, usually about something they didn’t get or about a parent’s instructions to do something they didn’t want to do. We have become so accustomed to…
Stop Anger Early - Real Love Blog
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Stop Anger Early

It’s far easier to stop anger early in the process—at the point of minimal disappointment or frustration, for example—than it is after anger really gets rolling, just as it’s easier to blow out a match than to put out a raging grass…
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Try Telling the Truth

The next time you’re angry at somebody, try telling the truth—at the very least to yourself. The real truth. Say, “I don’t wanna be happy. I’ve decided to give away my happiness, take no responsibility for it, and blame somebody else…
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Grabbing Balloons with Scissors

Recently I helped prepare for a bridal shower—my first such experience—and I was surprised to learn how much work goes into one of these affairs. For days I cut ribbons, made decorations, ran errands, blew up balloons, nodded my head in…
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The Seduction of Justice

Steven described how his boss had given him an assignment that was much bigger than the assignment given to a coworker. "It's just not fair!!" Steven said. I have heard these words on many occasions, and rarely does the speaker understand…
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Solve the Problem

In a relationship, anything that consistently gets between you as an issue—money, sex, kids, whatever—is the thing that will end you. Solve the problem. Now. Solve the problems. Don't let them end you. We have the solutions here. …

A Stunning Gift

Want to give a gift right now that will be stunning, that nobody else will duplicate? Choose to eliminate your anger. Learn how here:    

How We Respond

The things that happen to us—the things we tend to obsess about and try to control—are mostly irrelevant. What really matters is how we respond to them. Read more here to understand about your responses and the possibility for change…

Avoiding Death in the Twin Towers

I try to read a newspaper or a magazine every day. I do that in order to keep somewhat current about the events that surround us and to pick up threads about what some of the best minds in the world are thinking. I also have an opportunity —…

Conflict Resolution

Recently I observed an interaction between two of my grandchildren—Brad, 9, and Megan, 7—as they were eating dinner. Megan was pestering her brother, saying—among other things—“I’m already eating dessert. Why are you still poking…


If you choose not to respond with anger to the anger of others, you are truly a pioneer, and eventually others will follow you.


Resentment about not getting love from people who don't have it is like being angry because a pig didn't say good morning.
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Anger and Pain

We cling to the justifications of our anger with a desperate stubbornness, because otherwise we’d have to deal with the overwhelming pain that underlies it. Learn how to eliminate the anger and pain in your life and replace it with peace…

Real Love in the Street

Today I was riding my bicycle down the street for a bit of exercise when a man came frantically running out of his driveway, gesturing to me, and shouting, “Can you help me? Can you help me?” Each man was quite agitated and eager…


The instant you become angry, you lose the ability to accomplish anything truly good. Read this and understand the real cause of anger.

Remembering 9/11: Anger---The Terrorist Inside Us

I wrote this article only five days after the terrorist attack on the World Trade Centers. This contemporary account of that unforgettable day is as relevant and powerful now as it was 5 years ago. No matter how terrible the behavior…

The Trap of Being Right

Last night I was talking with some friends, and I was impressed — as I have been on so many occasions — with the comments of people who have been living the principles of Real Love. One woman, Allie, talked about how much the relationship…
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Mike was one of the most critical and angry men I’ve ever known, regularly attacking people for little or no reason. He felt unloved, alone, and miserable. And then he learned to tell the truth to a group of loving men. As they unconditionally…