Angry woman crossed out.

Zero Tolerance for Anger Is Easier than Minimum Tolerance

We Rarely Learn Zero Tolerance for Anger Growing Up Like many of us, Maureen was raised in a home where anger was expressed with such regularity that it was accepted as normal. Because of what Maureen learned at home, she used anger a lot…
A Time-Out for You

A Time-Out for You

A few days ago I was talking to my son Mike on the phone, and he described an interaction with his two children, Sydney, six years old, and Jack, four. In the next room, Mike heard Sydney steadily elevating the tone and volume of her voice as…

I Hate Being Wrong

Ella called and said, “I’m doing something wrong. Even though I know better, I still get angry sometimes. I hate it when I get angry.” “You’re learning,” I said. “There’s no way you can avoid being wrong as you learn. In…

The Power of No

I was in the room with Pam when she read an email from her sister, Suzanne, who had been quite critical—even bitter—toward Pam. Briefly, Pam furrowed her brow as she read the negative words out loud, but then she waived her hand in a dismissive—but…

It’s Illegal to Kill Them

I cannot remember where I saw two mothers talking to each other years ago—probably on a movie or television show—but one mother said to the other, “Why do you yell at your kids so much?” The second mother responded, “Because it’s…

Use Your Words

Every day I see or hear about children who speak with anger—even rage—at their parents, usually about something they didn’t get or about a parent’s instructions to do something they didn’t want to do. We have become so accustomed to…

Controlling the Fire

As I work in the backyard—pruning, picking up sticks, cutting down trees that are failing under the overhead canopy, and more—I generate large piles of material that need to be burned. The city will carry away small amounts of brush, but…

Would You Like a Pacifier?

Mark told me he was angry at his partner, Salina. He had quite a list of complaints, in fact. I got up from my chair and found a remnant from past visits from grandchildren, a pacifier—that plastic-rubber object called a dummy or soother…

Giving Up Our Beauty

The other day I stood in the driveway as I looked out at the backyard. A friend came up behind me and said, “It looks a little like the Garden of Eden probably did, don’t you think?” “Yes, actually, I do,” I replied. Over a period…
Link by Link - Real Love Blog

Link by Link

We are born free, but then—link by link—we are chained by fear, loneliness, and anger.
When You Use Anger to Protect Yourself - Real Love Blog

When You Use Anger to Protect Yourself

The moment you use anger to protect yourself, you risk burning down the entire house, with you inside.


Anger is like emotionally killing people and then later expecting them to spring to life when we want them to be useful.

The Immediate Reward of Anger

Through twenty books and uncounted video chats, we have established that anger is always wrong. It’s like a cancer in the soul, destroying us personally and ruining our relationships. A single act of anger can inflict incalculable emotional…

Zero Tolerance for Anger

Three years ago I spoke at a conference for middle-aged single people who were learning how best to find a loving spouse. A few days ago I spoke at the same conference, and a couple—Mark and Linda—came up after my initial address to tell…

On Fire?

Just because the entire world is on fire and screaming, does not mean we have to set our own hair on fire.

The Price of Everything

A few days ago I was driving to the airport during rush hour. One driver swerved in and out like a maniac in the heavy and slow traffic. He tailgated me closely for a while, but then changed lanes and tailgated many other drivers. At one point…

Choose Prison?

If you knew that somebody planned to put you in prison unjustly for 20 years, you’d fight with all your might. But as we choose fear and anger ourselves, we willingly put ourselves in prison for a lifetime.

Stepping on the Rope

Many years ago I often took groups of Boy Scouts to rappel down cliffs from 10 to 200 feet high. We used static kernmantle climbing rope, which is composed of hundreds of tiny nylon fibers in the core (the kern) and hundreds more in the outer…