Posts

The Spiral of Disability

The Spiral of Disability

Last year I saw Blaine, a man of considerable intellect and energy. He was CEO of a corporation and master of a relatively large domain. But he knew absolutely nothing about feeling or giving Real Love, so he felt empty and alone. One of many…
OVercoming Addictive Behaviors

Playing the Rest of the Tape

Pain often seems so intolerable that we'll do almost anything to diminish or alleviate it. Regrettably, we usually choose behaviors that yield only a superficial and temporary relief. We lie, get angry, use sex, earn and spend money, and so…
,

Waving Our Hands

Years ago I had a friend who was a professor of physiology and also knew a great deal about thermodynamics. I once watched him give his wife a stern lecture about the futility of her fanning herself with a piece of cardboard while she was outside…

Responding to a Spouse’s Addiction

“A woman wrote to me and said, “My husband has quite a gambling addiction, and it’s destroying our family. What can I do? I feel like just accepting and loving him would be condoning his behavior, which would be wrong.” My answer…
,

We Are All Addicted to Something (Video Clip)

We are all addicted to whatever substance or behavior temporarily decreases the pain we feel from not having enough Real Love. https://youtu.be/0A4dCDxheK8
, ,

Beginning the Rut

When I first met Grant, he was depressed and had little relationship with his wife and adult children. I loved him and helped him see how his critical and demeaning view of himself and others had come from long ago, when he was a child. Grant…

Who We Really Are

Our addictions are simply the fearful, distorted, destructive, and almost unrecognizable expressions of who we really are.

Nothing Worth Losing Peace

There is NOTHING—not anger, not being right, not fear, not controlling, not alcohol, not porn—worth the risk of losing our peace of soul.

Addictions

Our addictions to anger and being right can be every bit as powerful as addiction to drugs. We are all addicts, but with love we can all be free.

Feeling Sorry for Ourselves

Feeling sorry for ourselves is so easy to justify, but then it becomes addictive, and we find ourselves chained to our own beliefs.

Are There Any Good Addictions?

Denise could not live without the approval of other people, especially men. She tried constantly to please, but her efforts were never quite enough. She felt anxious all the time and began to use medications to control her stress, but that just…

Drug Abuse

"Drug abuse is not a disease, it’s a decision—an error in judgment—like deciding to step out in front of a moving car.” (Philip K. Dick) All our unloving behaviors are DECISIONS, but if we’ve never been taught better—if we’ve never…

The Spiral of Disability

Last year I saw Blaine, a man of considerable intellect and energy. He was CEO of a corporation and master of a relatively large domain. But he knew absolutely nothing about feeling or giving Real Love, so he felt empty and alone. One of many…
,

Playing the Rest of the Tape

Pain often seems so intolerable that we'll do almost anything to diminish or alleviate it. Regrettably, we usually choose behaviors that yield only a superficial and temporary relief. We lie, get angry, use sex, earn and spend money, and so…

Twelve-Step Programs

Twelve-Step Programs On many occasions people have commented that they see similarities between the principles of Real Love and the principles of the Twelve-Step recovery programs: Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Sex Addicts…