Small black siblings fighting over digital tablet in the living room.
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Do You Dread Spring Break with Your Children?

You Can Hear the Whining, Arguing, and Anger Already Do you dread Spring Break with your children? Can you hear the whining and arguing already? Learn how you can change it all and really enjoy the break with your kids. A few days ago I was…
Daughter and mother show love and confidence in their relationship.
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As a Parent, Do You Have Spring Break Anxiety?

Parenting with Confidence During Spring Break Are you feeling anxious about the next impending Spring Break? Does the complaining and protesting make you feel tired and smaller already? Learn how you can become confident as a ‘parent…

License to Love

Melinda was recently given a certificate as a Certified Real Love Coach, and she put it up on her living room wall. Her daughter, Sarah, was impressed. She asked Melinda what she had done to earn the certification, and then she was all the more…
A Time-Out for You

A Time-Out for You

A few days ago I was talking to my son Mike on the phone, and he described an interaction with his two children, Sydney, six years old, and Jack, four. In the next room, Mike heard Sydney steadily elevating the tone and volume of her voice as…

Misplaced Shame

I spoke with a woman, Darlene, who was always unhappy. I learned that when she was a child, about ages eight through twelve, she had been sexually abused by her father, cousin, and uncle. She said her father had sex with her "only once," and…

The Dangers of Duty

While I was in Beijing, China, I observed a long wall that was covered with twenty-four large murals. I asked my Chinese companion about the meaning of the scenes, and she said they illustrated traditional Chinese values regarding the duty…

Learning How to Love With a Child

One of my grandchildren, Jack, is four years old, and there are few things more delightful than his arrival at our house for a visit. He runs across the kitchen floor and flings himself into the air, four limbs splayed as far apart as he can…
The Frowny Face button

The Frowny Face Button

My eight-year-old granddaughter, Megan, is an irrepressible fountain of energy and intelligence, often expressed with a need to challenge everything. It's actually a delightful combination of traits, but on occasion some people do find her endless…

Sharp Edges

I once saw a photo of a sign that read, in big capital letters, "Caution: This Sign Has Sharp Edges. Do Not Touch the Edges of this Sign." Below these large letters was a sentence written in much smaller letters: "Also the Bridge is Out Ahead."…

Priorities 11-100

James owned a business, and as he got closer to retirement, he made an agreement with his son, Brandon, that would gradually increase Brandon's share in the business until he took full ownership from his father. But James said that he and Brandon…
Loving your kids

Loving Your Kids Now

You made a lot of mistakes with your children. Now let go of the disasters, lose the guilt, and don't try to make up for them. Just start loving your kids now, and—if they’re young enough or willing—teach them occasionally.   …

We Just Cheat

Not long ago I had my arthritic and painful right hip replaced by a titanium ball and a socket of plastic. Within a couple of days of the surgery, I began a program of physical rehabilitation (PT) designed to build up the muscles used around…

A Demonstration Of Real Faith

Nyla had been raised by parents who "loved her" conditionally. They convinced her that their conditional praise, acceptance, and kindness were truly love. When I first described to her what Real Love looked like, her reaction was far from positive.…

Loving With Confidence

James called to tell me that two days before his six-year-old daughter, Sareah, had been playing outside and gotten a large splinter embedded in her finger. She wouldn't allow them to touch it, screaming bloody murder if they made any attempt…

Morphine and Ice Cream

I talked to a father, Martin, who was having terrible problems with the behavior of his teenage daughter, Mariah, who was being rebellious, refusing to do her chores, missing days of school, withdrawing into her room instead of interacting with…

It’s All a Game

I talked on the phone with Sylvia, who described how annoying it was that her two-year-old son manipulated her every night not to go to bed, or to get her to allow him to sleep with her, after getting out of bed in the middle of the night. As…

It’s All Proven with Behavior

Somebody wrote to me and said, “I have a friend who used to complain with every word she spoke. All day. About everything: her husband, the weather, her boss, her coworkers, the traffic, her kids. Everything. And now she has stopped complaining.…

Telling Your Child The Truth

A father wrote to me: "I have not known how to connect with my teenage daughter, Jennifer, so I finally decided to do what you suggested long ago. I sat with her and actually listened to her. I began by asking how she liked school, and…

The Blue Ball

Years ago a friend told me a story of visiting the home of my daughter Janette, who at the time lived near Phoenix, Arizona. Bruce was two, and his older sister was playing with a blue ball. “Want blue ball!’ Bruce demanded. “How…

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

A couple of years ago, I was visiting a friend when a tall, animated young man—maybe 19-20 years old—crossed the room and gave me a huge hug. “Thank you,” he said. I didn’t recognize him, but after learning his name, I did remember…