Second Place - Real Love Blog

We Have to Learn How to be a True Partner (Video Clip)

We tend to blame the difficulties in our relationships on the other person, when the truth is that WE need to learn to be a loving partner. https://youtu.be/WXRGMa6mcvY
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Lost In Translation

For years Aaron and his wife, Vikki, had been locked in an emotional firestorm that showed no signs of burning out. In recent months Vicki had been practicing Real Love with some success, but Aaron had adamantly refused to participate in any…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Making Love Radio Show Clip

Listen to a clip of Greg talking about the first of four rules for a healthy relationship from the Making Love Radio Show. https://www.reallove.com/wp-content/uploads/mp3/RadioMakingLove-Clip-2.mp3 For more free video and audio clips of…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

How To Withdraw Graciously

One of the most common mistakes people make in relationships is to keep talking when conflict is developing. When people are afraid—always an element of conflict—they become quite insane, and the conversation can only become increasingly…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Living In Fear, Living In Death

When I asked Jennifer how she was doing, she said, "Okay, I guess." "If you're guessing whether you're even 'okay,' you must not be doing all that well." "I suppose not." When people "guess" and "suppose" a lot, it almost uniformly…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Keep It Simple

Dwayne and Natalie kept having regular arguments about kids, money, sex, household chores, and more—the usual stuff in a long-term relationship. Every day there was some problem that needed urgent solution, but no matter how many problems…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

It Depends

On uncounted occasions, I have heard people describe a difficult—often painful—situation or interaction, and then they ask, “What should I do?” I usually know something about them, so I don’t actually use the two following words…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Eyes on the Road

Mark called me and—referring to his wife—said, “Nancy’s been distant lately. Cold. Doesn’t talk unless I talk to her first.” “How many times in the last two days have you touched her tenderly?” I asked. “Or looked into her…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Stop It!!

A married couple, Jack and Amy, were telling me how unhappy they were. Amy was an attacker who angrily criticized people—especially Jack and her children—from the time she opened her eyes in the morning until she fell asleep at night. She…

Were You Kind?

Watch this video for an inspirational example of how to truly love and accept the people in your life. https://youtu.be/uyl-36VuoUg
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Loving With vs Loving Despite

On many occasions people have asked me how you can love somebody despite their being angry, or selfish, or stupid, or whatever. The problem here is typified by the use of the word “despite.” If I claim to love you despite your flaws: *…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Three-Inch River Rocks

Several days ago a woman angrily complained to me about some behaviors of her husband that were irresponsible and lazy. After listening for a minute, I said, "Now that you have the load in your yard, it's a little late to complain about it." She…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

It’s in the Delivery

I talked by Skype to John and Julie and asked them how they were doing. “All she ever does is criticize me,” he said, obviously unhappy. “Give me a specific example,” I said. John described how earlier that day she had come…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

Changing the Subject

Heather was talking to her husband, Adam, and said, “I feel like we don’t do anything together.” “But I do lots of stuff with you,” Adam said, and he began to name some activities they had shared in recent days and weeks. I was…

Why Partnerships Fail

We find partners in the hope that they will heal our wounds and make us happy. But they are not equipped to do that, and when we discover this—which we refused to see from the beginning—our partnerships fail. Learn how to have the unconditionally…
Second Place - Real Love Blog

A Poke In The Eye

Dan was irritated that Cheryl was "constantly" offering him advice about a great many things. "But I'm just trying to help," Cheryl said. "He's always doing stuff, or making decisions, without all the information he needs, and I'm just trying…
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Without Sufficient Real Love

Watching two people without sufficient Real Love as they interact in a relationship is like watching two ticks trying to suck blood from each other. Find Real Love for yourself and learn how to have the fulfilling relationships you've always…
Second Place - Real Love Blog
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Need, Want, and Hope

Joann called me to talk about how she had tried to use Real Love to help her adult son, Max, who was lost, wandering, and miserable. “I really WANT to help him,” she said. “Listen to yourself carefully. Listen to the tone with which…
Second Place - Real Love Blog
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Second Place

If you’re willing to be put in second place in a committed relationship, soon you’ll be third and fourth, and then you’ll disappear off the edge of the earth.
Second Place - Real Love Blog
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Once You’ve Seen the Bait . . .

I saw a woman, Karen, in my office who was very afraid of nearly everything in life, and whose response to fear was to please everyone. She didn’t know who she was and had no discernible personality. Karen began to describe her partner…