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Just Ask

Do you wonder where you are in relationship with someone? Just ASK. Learning the truth is far more productive than guessing.
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The Exchange

The moment I need you to be different, our relationship is over. Now all we can do is exchange expectations and manipulations, with unavoidable disappointment.
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The Great Secret to Successful Dating (Video Clip)

You do not want to avoid rejection in dating. You want to get to it sooner.
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Wait for the Fruit

When the blooms fall from the apple tree, you don't cut it down. You wait for the fruit, as with relationships.
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Falling in Love is a Choice?

On many occasions I have described Real Love as a choice we make. We DECIDE to love another person unconditionally. In a recent conversation, however, I learned something about how romantic love—falling in love—can also be a choice. I…
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Falling in Love is a Choice?

On many occasions I have described Real Love as a choice we make. We DECIDE to love another person unconditionally. In a recent conversation, however, I learned something about how romantic love—falling in love—can also be a choice. I…
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How Do You Introduce Real Love to People?

A woman wrote me: “This morning I shared the concept of trading Imitation Love with my friend Flynn. It just came up naturally in the conversation. He was talking angrily about his ex and said, ‘I loved her but she wasn't loving me back.’ “I…

Transparent Dating

Often I learn “through the grapevine” that someone in Real Love has been regularly dating although almost none of their Real Love friends are aware of it. Usually I smile and wince at the same time, because such experiences rarely turn out…

Having a Voice

Hannah told me she’d had sex with so many men that she couldn’t even begin to count them. “Why?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “Sure you do.” “I’m not sure. It makes it easy to start a relationship.” “Sure…

Picking out Loppers

Sylvia called and said, "I'm so confused about relationships. I feel stupid." "You probably are stupid about relationships," I said. "Almost everyone is, but that's not a problem, IF you're willing to see it and change it. You can fix stupid.…

Three-Inch River Rocks

Several days ago a woman angrily complained to me about some behaviors of her husband that were irresponsible and lazy. After listening for a minute, I said, "Now that you have the load in your yard, it's a little late to complain about it."…