Happiness comes from obeying the laws of truth and love.

Gravity Does Not Pick On You

Tamara called and said, "I really miss Victor [her old boyfriend, whom she'd left two weeks before]." "I'm sure you do. Tell me what you miss." "He was fun, intelligent, lots of things." "Was he loving?" "Well, sometimes." I had…

The Law of Attraction

For several years the Law of Attraction received a great deal of attention. The classic definition is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we focus on. The Law of Attraction uses the power of the mind to translate our thoughts into…

Do You Have A Peanut Allergy?

For years Allison had been in and out of a relationship with Philip, and—not coincidentally—her progress toward genuine happiness had been negligible. She called me to complain about something at work. "When was the last time you saw…

Door Decisions

Mike called me in a real panic about his relationship with Rita, his girlfriend of several months. “Rita’s lease will run out at the end of the month, and she can renew it, or we’re thinking of having her move in with me. What do you think?” “I…

The Lie Of Magic

Cynthia was telling me about the affair she was having with her new boyfriend, Curt. "This is more fun than I've had in years. My life was stale and boring. But when I'm with Curt, all the excitement is back. I love it." "And Malcolm [her…

Guidelines for Dating, Physical Contact, and Progression

One advantage of being old is the years of observing where so many behaviors lead. Some behaviors appear innocent in the beginning, but they are just the precursors to disaster. Others have proven over time to be safe and wise. My comments here…
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Without Sufficient Real Love

Watching two people without sufficient Real Love as they interact in a relationship is like watching two ticks trying to suck blood from each other. Find Real Love for yourself and learn how to have the fulfilling relationships you've always…
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Once You’ve Seen the Bait . . .

I saw a woman, Karen, in my office who was very afraid of nearly everything in life, and whose response to fear was to please everyone. She didn’t know who she was and had no discernible personality. Karen began to describe her partner…
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You Don’t Buy Me Flowers

A man called me one day, heartbroken that his marriage was falling apart. “For years I’ve given her everything she wanted—literally everything—and now she says she’s just not happy anymore, and I don’t know what to do.” Then…

A Stack of Blocks

Cynthia was complaining to me that she had girlfriends who were having “all the fun” in life. “What kind of fun?” I asked. “They have boyfriends all the time, and they talk about having sex, going dancing and drinking, stuff…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog


Intimacy is the sweet fruit found out at the end of the limb of vulnerability.
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Is It Appropriate to Point Out Your Partner’s Flaws? (Video Clip)

When and how should we point out to our partners and others that they’re behaving in unloving ways? https://youtu.be/a0jgA1qfwQs
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What Can You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Return Your Love? (Video Clip)

In some relationships, your partner may appear not to respond at all. What can you do then? https://youtu.be/pmn3iFZkWBM


I get a great many questions from couples who endure and even nurture varying degrees of contention. When doing a task together, for example, they argue over who is doing the most work, and whose work is the most important, or noticed, or rewarded.…

The Dangers of Dating

Every day or two I get a question somewhat like the following: “I’ve been married twice and have been in quite a number of other relationships—obviously not successful ones. I’m just beginning to learn about Real Love, and I’ve…
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The Whole Package

Every day I hear people bemoan the faults of the people around them: “She is so disorganized.” “He’s just not physically affectionate, and I need more than that.” “She cannot seem to make a decision. She makes every choice into…

When Do You Let a Potential Partner Go? (Video Clip)

We all carry enough of our own baggage. Why carry our partner’s too?
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Starting Over

I have a friend who is a general contractor. On many occasions he’s been asked to provide an estimate for what it would cost to remodel a house or commercial building. He inspects the foundation, the walls, the plumbing, the wiring, and more,…
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Is It Possible to be Happy Single? (Video Clip)

It’s one of the great myths of the world that in order to be happy, we have to be in an exclusive relationship.  
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Just Ask

Do you wonder where you are in relationship with someone? Just ASK. Learning the truth is far more productive than guessing.