Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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How Being Wrong Creates Happiness (Video Clip)

To have a great relationship, we need to know what creates happiness and love and be willing to freely admit it when we make mistakes. https://youtu.be/x1gsPXUrgS0
The truth about Falling in love
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The Pacific Slide

Every day I talk to several people who are experiencing serious conflict in their primary relationship. In nearly every case the couple was initially in love, but over time the "in love" feeling slipped away, becoming a distant–often painful–memory. What…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog

Who Is the Key Person in a Dating Relationship? (Video Clip)

How can dating work where only one partner is interested in practicing Real Love? https://youtu.be/D5b_0mXbNIk
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The All-Powerful Bridge Of Trust

After watching Lisa express her anger at Paul, her husband, for several minutes, I interrupted. "You don't trust him." "Sure I do," she said. "I just don't like many of the choices he makes." "You mean most of his choices." Her silence…
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Do You Have A Peanut Allergy?

For years Allison had been in and out of a relationship with Philip, and—not coincidentally—her progress toward genuine happiness had been negligible. She called me to complain about something at work. "When was the last time you saw…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Door Decisions

Mike called me in a real panic about his relationship with Rita, his girlfriend of several months. “Rita’s lease will run out at the end of the month, and she can renew it, or we’re thinking of having her move in with me. What do you think?” “I…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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The Lie Of Magic

Cynthia was telling me about the affair she was having with her new boyfriend, Curt. "This is more fun than I've had in years. My life was stale and boring. But when I'm with Curt, all the excitement is back. I love it." "And Malcolm [her…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Lost In Translation

For years Aaron and his wife, Vikki, had been locked in an emotional firestorm that showed no signs of burning out. In recent months Vicki had been practicing Real Love with some success, but Aaron had adamantly refused to participate in any…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Guidelines for Dating, Physical Contact, and Progression

One advantage of being old is the years of observing where so many behaviors lead. Some behaviors appear innocent in the beginning, but they are just the precursors to disaster. Others have proven over time to be safe and wise. My comments here…
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Why Partnerships Fail

We find partners in the hope that they will heal our wounds and make us happy. But they are not equipped to do that, and when we discover this—which we refused to see from the beginning—our partnerships fail. Learn how to have the unconditionally…
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Without Sufficient Real Love

Watching two people without sufficient Real Love as they interact in a relationship is like watching two ticks trying to suck blood from each other. Find Real Love for yourself and learn how to have the fulfilling relationships you've always…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Once You’ve Seen the Bait . . .

I saw a woman, Karen, in my office who was very afraid of nearly everything in life, and whose response to fear was to please everyone. She didn’t know who she was and had no discernible personality. Karen began to describe her partner…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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You Don’t Buy Me Flowers

A man called me one day, heartbroken that his marriage was falling apart. “For years I’ve given her everything she wanted—literally everything—and now she says she’s just not happy anymore, and I don’t know what to do.” Then…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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A Stack of Blocks

Cynthia was complaining to me that she had girlfriends who were having “all the fun” in life. “What kind of fun?” I asked. “They have boyfriends all the time, and they talk about having sex, going dancing and drinking, stuff…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Intimacy

Intimacy is the sweet fruit found out at the end of the limb of vulnerability.
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Is It Appropriate to Point Out Your Partner’s Flaws? (Video Clip)

When and how should we point out to our partners and others that they’re behaving in unloving ways? https://youtu.be/a0jgA1qfwQs
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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What Can You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Return Your Love? (Video Clip)

In some relationships, your partner may appear not to respond at all. What can you do then? https://youtu.be/pmn3iFZkWBM
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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Partners

I get a great many questions from couples who endure and even nurture varying degrees of contention. When doing a task together, for example, they argue over who is doing the most work, and whose work is the most important, or noticed, or rewarded.…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog

The Dangers of Dating

Every day or two I get a question somewhat like the following: “I’ve been married twice and have been in quite a number of other relationships—obviously not successful ones. I’m just beginning to learn about Real Love, and I’ve…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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The Whole Package

Every day I hear people bemoan the faults of the people around them: “She is so disorganized.” “He’s just not physically affectionate, and I need more than that.” “She cannot seem to make a decision. She makes every choice into…
Intimacy - Real Love Blog
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When Do You Let a Potential Partner Go? (Video Clip)

We all carry enough of our own baggage. Why carry our partner’s too?