Entries by Greg Baer

PTSD in Half a Second

The Real Causes of Personal Pain and Confusion Most of us have been injured emotionally literally thousands of times. We can't even remember the most important ones, the real causes of personal pain and confusion. Those occurred when we were very young. So we believe in any given moment that we're responding to the present […]


The Immediate Reward of Anger

Through twenty books and uncounted video chats, we have established that anger is always wrong. It’s like a cancer in the soul, destroying us personally and ruining our relationships. A single act of anger can inflict incalculable emotional damage, but it’s often difficult to see the immediate results. Once in a while, though, the immediate […]

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Being RIGHT is THE Thing

Two people, Roxanne and Don, separately approached me regarding their lives being miserable and their marriages suffering badly. The difference between how they subsequently responded to coaching could easily be summarized in two words: being right. Don told me how his wife was unreasonable and demanding. Roxanne told me she had been selfish and difficult, […]


Worshiping Pain

Katie was ready to divorce her husband, Roger. Neither of them had been unconditionally loved from childhood to the present, so they were both reacting badly to their pain—and consistently reacting in ways that wounded the other. They came to see me, and Katie was becoming more emotionally inflamed by the minute. I finally interrupted […]



Usually we see the benefit of many of our experiences only years later, as we look back. We could enjoy such satisfaction now if only we would realize that all our experiences are preparing us for something far greater than we could have imagined at the time.


Eventually . . .

I spent the day removing tree branches that were covering much of the roof of an outbuilding, as well as many other branches, vines, and weeds nearby. It was a lot of work, getting up and down the ladder, chain sawing the large branches, winching the trunk of a tree away from the building, reaching […]


The Ox and the Butterfly

Kirsten and James were living together, planning to get married, and also running a joint business. They spent a lot of time together, which tended to highlight their differences. James is a tightly organized man, who can schedule his day in exact 15 minute blocks from early morning to late at night. Kirsten is not […]


Zero Tolerance for Anger

Three years ago I spoke at a conference for middle-aged single people who were learning how best to find a loving spouse. A few days ago I spoke at the same conference, and a couple—Mark and Linda—came up after my initial address to tell me that they had used the principles of Real Love to […]


The Loud Voices

When I met Andrea, she was deep in a pit of unhappiness: alone, feeling worthless, unhappy in her marriage, and short-tempered and frustrated as a mother. I taught her how to find and share Real Love, and gradually she rose from the pit. She became happy almost all the time. Friends commented on how she […]


Shoveling Manure

My father grew up on a farm that raised a variety of plants and animals, dairy cows among them. It was his job to shovel manure out of the barn, a job which apparently never ended and was never pleasant. When he shoveled his way to the end of the barn, he immediately returned to […]