Drowning
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Category: Miscellaneous
Forum Name: Miscellaneous
Forum Discription: Whatever you want to talk about
URL: http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170
Printed Date: 20 May 2013 at 5:06am
Topic: Drowning
Posted By: JayQ
Subject: Drowning
Date Posted: 31 May 2008 at 4:53am
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When I was about one, I actually did drown by falling into a bucket of water. I turned blue and stopped breathing and the whole bit. My father and a relative revived me, fortunately.
When I was about 5, we were visiting some family friends in Arizona and they had a pool. As I remember it, I jumped in to the deep end and to my surprise, went under, sucking up a bunch of water. I was literally drowning. In my panic and shear fear, I grabbed onto the only thing I could, the other family's little daughter, who was swimming nearby. She was probably about 3-4 years old, but a good little swimmer. I basically pulled her under to lift myself up to gasp for air. I can remember I only felt the fear and struggle just to breath one breath of fresh air as I was choking on water. Of course the little girl was now choking and drowning, too. She and I were pulled out and rescued by the adults. I remember I was scolded, and I felt ashamed at what I had done to this little girl. I never meant to hurt her. It was a real situation and I can still recall the panic and instinct to do anything possible to get to air. As I am now in RL coaching, I have begun to shed some light on the pain and emotional panic I have been carrying. And I see how I have pulled others close to me "under" to try to ease the pain or panic in myself. So it's true that when we are drowning, we don't even realize what we are doing to others. Its all about us. Learning about Real Love, the G&P behaviors, imitation love, etc., gives me hope and helps me see myself more and more truthfully. But there is one important difference. I am not scolded in this family. And I am learning to not feel ashamed, but to love and be loved. Thanks to all the coaches, conference callers, group members, Greg & Donna, all the Baers, and everyone else. JayQ |
Replies:
Posted By: Learning
Date Posted: 01 Jun 2008 at 12:17pm
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Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. You are so right that we make life all about us when we are drowning. But we sure do like to blame others as we struggle to keep our heads above water. Great to see you Love Learning |
Posted By: RoknRob121
Date Posted: 05 Jun 2008 at 7:16pm
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HI JayQ,
Great way to see yourself and others more clearly!
Incredible experience brother thanks for sharing that with us.
I am able to relate to the drowning analogy as well. Been drowning all my life up until the moment I picked up the phone and made my first Real Love Call.
It was then that I got Brave enough to call a Real Love Coach and ask Him to Mentor me thru my break-up until I could keep my feet on dry ground again.
That process took all of 2 years to accomplish, whew!
Now, I get to help others by being available to them for those moments when they are emptied, fearful and drowning also. It's really amazing what happens to us when we put ourselves into the greater service of others and Coach them along in their Real Love Journey, isn't it?
Look forward to seeing more of you as you continue learning & growing in Real Love.
Will be learning & growing alongside ya, too
 ~ Aloha, Robin ~ ------------- ~ I'm the one to call when you are ready to tell the TRUTH about it all~ 808-494-1505 |
Posted By: JayQ
Date Posted: 08 Jun 2008 at 5:10pm
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Thanks for the comments and sharing. I am thankful for a RL family I am feeling more a part of.
I am seeing myself enjoy a bit more peace of mind and less anxiety and panic/fear. JayQ |
Posted By: rlpkaren
Date Posted: 08 Jun 2008 at 8:49pm
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Hi there JayQ. I would imagine that when the adults saw you both in the pool drowning that they were terrified and in a panic as well. Many people (me included) have used anger in situations where they are mortally afraid. Since you were the "cause" of their fear (and therefore their pain) it was pretty natural to scold you. Of course I'm not saying it made sense or that it was right--it wasn't. You were only a child. However, it does make it a little more understandable.
You said, "So it's true that when we are drowning, we don't even realize what we are doing to others. It's all about us. " That is a brilliant observation.
 There certainly is no need to feel ashamed about your behaviors while drowning. Just see the truth of them and make changes to do something else. I, too, have a real drowning story. There does come a point at which you lose the fear.
Blessings,
Karen
Certified Real Love Coach
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Posted By: JayQ
Date Posted: 08 Jun 2008 at 11:59pm
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Thanks, Karen. I have gone through this with RL coaching and I see it as completely understandable. It still is good to share and be seen again.
One more event of many I felt like and acted like a victim, too. All of us were doing the best we could and we all survived. Seeing this helps to make better choices in life. JayQ |
Posted By: AlexF
Date Posted: 13 Jun 2008 at 10:44am
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JayQ,
You paint a very vivid picture. It helps me to visualize where others are in their interactions with me. I can't always do it, but being a steady hand that not only reaches out, but does NOT fall into the pool with them is my daily goal. Thank you for sharing
Alex
RL Coach
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Posted By: JayQ
Date Posted: 14 Jun 2008 at 10:06am
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You're welcome Alex. Good point also about reaching out but not falling in with them.
Love as we can FREELY. Thanks, JayQ |
Posted By: Gina Bean
Date Posted: 06 Jan 2009 at 1:42am
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Im enjoying going through all the posts, even though they may be old and wanted to take the opportunity to reply.
Wow! What an impacting story. I second that opinion that you paint a very vivid picture. It really brings everything to reality of how desperate you can feel when you lack real love. It truely does feel like its a life of death matter!
You really have humbled me for my inability to see others who are drowning and I appreciate that opportunity to grow. It really inspires me to want to share my knowledge of Real Love with those around me so they do not have to continue to live in such a tragic state of mind. I just have to make sure that i can keep myself out of the pool also!
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Posted By: JayQ
Date Posted: 08 Jan 2009 at 12:40am
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Gina,
Good to get your feedback. We are all susceptible to drowning again, and not seeing others as drowning when they are. Keeping in contact with those who see and love us helps us see and love others better. Blessings and welcome to the forum. JayQ |
Posted By: wistfulmystic
Date Posted: 06 Apr 2009 at 2:45am
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Thank you for your post, I know it is incredibly hard to admit our capacity and tendency to hurt others. When I was about 8 I nearly drowned and my parents didn't know about it, though they were at the place where it happened. I was rescued by a stranger whose name I never found out. For me that incident has always meant "survival is luck" and "you are not important to those who are supposed to love you". And I guess I have spent my life passively, wanting proof of love by being bailed out. It hasn't been a very successful strategy. I'd really like to put this behind me but I'm not exactly sure how. WM |
Posted By: rlpkaren
Date Posted: 29 Apr 2011 at 1:39pm
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I just found this post from 2009 and approved it. Unfortunately there is no way for moderators to find posts placed at the back of an older inactive topic. People would do far better to open a new topic and quote the original post (or something along those lines).
Love,
Karen H ------------- Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable. |