So confused

You Cannot give anyone what you don't have

   Hi everyone, I am new here and I have read the first book and I have started rereading it as I am confused.  So, from what I understand is, if I am not my partners first priority, I must be ok with that and just accept it?  If no, then how to make them aware of it and communicate that it is not acceptable or is that their choice?  I understand not getting angry, but then what?

Thanks so much, perhaps I need to read Real Love numerous times to GET It!

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AchemD Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List New Member Joined: 03 Aug 2011 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote AchemD Report Post Quote Reply Topic: So confused Posted: 03 Aug 2011 at 8:37pm
	Hi everyone, I am new here and I have read the first book and I have started rereading it as I am confused. So, from what I understand is, if I am not my partners first priority, I must be ok with that and just accept it? If no, then how to make them aware of it and communicate that it is not acceptable or is that their choice? I understand not getting angry, but then what? Thanks so much, perhaps I need to read Real Love numerous times to GET It!

rlpkaren Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Real Love Coach Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708	Post Options Post Reply Quote rlpkaren Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Aug 2011 at 9:55am
	Of course you're confused. You Want to be your partner's first priority and apparently you aren't. And do I ever understand where you are! I spent years and years there (like 28 of them) in a vain attempt to force my partner to give me what I wanted. It was tiring, draining, and in the end, futile. And I'll go out on a limb here, but I'd guess that your partner isn't your first priority either. Unless you were raised by parents who filled you to the brim with Real Love, it is pretty doubtful that you have a bounty of Real Love to give. It's a case of two really empty people who have nothing but Imitation Love to exchange. You Cannot give anyone what you don't have. And until you experience Real Love, until you feel very loved yourself, until you make That a priority, it will be difficult for any lasting change to occur. I'd suggest that you continue reading the book--again and again. Get Greg's new PCSD book. If you aren't getting on the free calls, it would help you to do that. Begin to understand your own emptiness, selfishness, whatever--and talk about That. BTW, you can request anything from your partner as long as it's a request. If you become irritated when you don't get what you want, than you know it's a demand. Real Love is a way of living, not just some new techniques to try on your partner to get him/her to do what you want. It takes lots of effort and soul-searching and lots of humility. Hang in there; it's worth it. Love to you, KarenH Edited by rlpkaren - 06 Aug 2011 at 3:33pm
	Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.