Mon Son Missing my Ex

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   My 12 year old son emailed me a short message the other day about missing my ex of a year ago, he said to me that the reason that he keeps her picture up even after its been a year is because he misses her.

I am at a loss what to say to him, I first thought to say, "Son, missing her is about you and what you aren't getting and that's not loving her unconditionally." not that it's wrong or anything, thought about telling him that it's okay to miss people, even when you see that they can't love you. I opted that these weren't the most loving responses, I figure he can keep her picture up as long as he wants, heck I haven't said anything to him about it. Wondering why he even thought I cared. 

I find that I'm a little angry about her leaving and not talking to him again, but it's my fault for choosing someone who was uncapable of loving me let alone him and my other kids.

Becca

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RebeccaE Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 30 Jun 2010 Location: Bakersfield Online Status: Offline Posts: 39	Post Options Post Reply Quote RebeccaE Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Mon Son Missing my Ex Posted: 12 Jul 2011 at 11:30am
	My 12 year old son emailed me a short message the other day about missing my ex of a year ago, he said to me that the reason that he keeps her picture up even after its been a year is because he misses her. I am at a loss what to say to him, I first thought to say, "Son, missing her is about you and what you aren't getting and that's not loving her unconditionally." not that it's wrong or anything, thought about telling him that it's okay to miss people, even when you see that they can't love you. I opted that these weren't the most loving responses, I figure he can keep her picture up as long as he wants, heck I haven't said anything to him about it. Wondering why he even thought I cared. I find that I'm a little angry about her leaving and not talking to him again, but it's my fault for choosing someone who was uncapable of loving me let alone him and my other kids. Becca

RLP Angla Nin Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Real Love Coach Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 311	Post Options Post Reply Quote RLP Angla Nin Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 12 Jul 2011 at 2:26pm
	Rebecca, Considering that your son is empty and afraid, what he's probably missing is some form of imitation love that he's no longer receiving; perhaps praise or safety. And yes, you're the one who is repsonsible for choosing her. And you're still loved. Love to you, Angela
	Certified Real Love Coach~ amurray@reallove.com

rlpkaren Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Real Love Coach Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708	Post Options Post Reply Quote rlpkaren Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 12 Jul 2011 at 4:20pm
	Why not ask him what he misses (if you can do it without anger or sadness). He thinks he's missing something that is no longer available. How can you help him work through this and let it go? For you to be angry at her is pointless, as is being angry at yourself for choosing poorly. We all make mistakes--and hopefully learn from them. Love & Light, KarenH
	Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.