What Do I Do Now?

   I met a guy online when I was looking for an exchange stay and ended up falling for him.  I travelled across the world at least 6 or 7 times to stay with him and it was great.  I gave up my life, job and family (who are grown) in my country and now he seems to have cooled off.  We don't talk, intimacy has almost stopped, and the other day I found an email he had written to a girl 20 yrs younger than me offering her my job (with his company) and it was very sexually explicit.  I spoke to him he said it was a joke and meant nothing and that he is considered by all his friends to be a harmless flirt and he does it all the time.  The strange thing is that the content and the way he addressed her were pretty much identical to the way he flirted and courted me for years.  Is this a pattern for him and have I made a huge mistake.  I feel very hurt, insecure and disappointed with his actions.  This comes directly after my ex-partner had an affair which split us up. Is it me??

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Holly Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List New Member Joined: 15 Jun 2011 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote Holly Report Post Quote Reply Topic: What Do I Do Now? Posted: 15 Jun 2011 at 6:19pm
	I met a guy online when I was looking for an exchange stay and ended up falling for him. I travelled across the world at least 6 or 7 times to stay with him and it was great. I gave up my life, job and family (who are grown) in my country and now he seems to have cooled off. We don't talk, intimacy has almost stopped, and the other day I found an email he had written to a girl 20 yrs younger than me offering her my job (with his company) and it was very sexually explicit. I spoke to him he said it was a joke and meant nothing and that he is considered by all his friends to be a harmless flirt and he does it all the time. The strange thing is that the content and the way he addressed her were pretty much identical to the way he flirted and courted me for years. Is this a pattern for him and have I made a huge mistake. I feel very hurt, insecure and disappointed with his actions. This comes directly after my ex-partner had an affair which split us up. Is it me??

PeteU Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 28 Apr 2011 Location: Nr Coventry, UK Online Status: Offline Posts: 16	Post Options Post Reply Quote PeteU Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 20 Jun 2011 at 11:07am
	Oh Holly, I dont' know whether you have just stumbled across this forum or whether you are familiar with the principles of 'Real Love' as described by Dr. Greg Baer in his book of the same title. In short, living by the principles of Real Love is the ONLY way, ANY human can find TRUE happiness. It sounds like you have had your fair share of pain, as virtually every single person on the whole planet has - until a few of us found Real Love that is. Holly - it is you - yes. But you are not alone. It sounds pretty much like it was also your ex-partner, this online guy, his new girl AND all his friends too. Take it from me, there is absolutely NO such thing as a harmless flirt. You can only ever be in control of you and it looks pretty much like you have made a huge mistake. But from hurt and pain, you can pick yourself up and learn exactly what your mistakes were, and move on to a far far happier life than you were ever going to have before. Holly, get a copy of the book 'Real Love' written by Greg and you can begin to understand that life can be much more fun if we don't allow ourselves to be trapped by the hurtful behaviour of others. Read the book and come back and let us know how you are getting on. There are plenty of people here who are willing to freely guide you through a journey to unrequited happiness regardless of ANY mistakes you have made in your past. Good luck and come back soon With love Pete Edited by PeteU - 20 Jun 2011 at 11:10am
	Pete Uglow - Certified Real Love Coach pete@realloveuk.com / skype: pete.uglow www.realloveuk.com