Empty nest

 

**Sweet, that's all you need.

 

sometimes I am not sure what the line is between saying the truth and just over flowing with the details.

 

**You and me both. It gets easier.

My to do list looks something like this... In the last week I ran a red light and had my picture taken, I have to pay the ticket. Two days latter I got pulled over for having expired tags, I gracefully accepted the ticket, then I went to get new tags and was told that I had to pay 100$ fine for being late. Ok, at this point I am pissed and feeling like a victim .

 

**Can you go a little further and say "why" you felt like victim and "why" you got a little pissed off?

 

A hard lesson in learning to be responsible.

 

**Don't hit me over the head, okay?  But, "why" was it a HARD lesson and not just A lesson? Answering these "why's" can help you to SEE what you're feeling underneath; can help you see and "poof away" the junk that's really causing you to feel bad.

 

2. My house is a MESS: dishes, laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom. 3. I have to reapply for food-stamps: paper work. 4. I also have to apply for scholarships, an essay, letter of recommendations, a little more paper work. 5. I told my teacher I would write a paper on my time in phoenix. 6. A few more miscellaneous things, study for math, spend time in the ceramics lab that kind of thing.

 

**And guess who gets to decide, when, where and how, waht order and IF any or all of this gets done??? Yep! Just YOU. Not your mom,  your friends or society, or the magazines or ANYONE. It's your call honey. I don't know about you but sometimes when I feel like I "should" be doing something or begin to call myself lazy or irresponsible, it's usually because I'm feeling afraid of what someone else will think of me while I'm CHOOSING what I want to do. I'm killing THAT noise daily.  And I find that things get done.

Ok, Five is not a million, in fact it is not 10 .

 

**Love it!!

 

I hear what your saying about watching t.v. I guess my fear is that I would get stuck there FOREVER, not real rational. 

 

**Not at all. When you're sitting and watching tv, sit, watch and enjoy. You're allowed.

 

I got to a place this morning were I am actually grateful for the things on my list.

 

**Pretty cool.

 

 I would say more but I think that might just be details.

 

**No problemo.....it can take a while to get out of that habit!

 

Thanks, for your time, Love Osha

 

**Piece of cake honey, you're so easy to love!

p.s. I just did a lovely job on my dishes!

 

**Look at you!  I'm happy for you, that you feel happy; not praising you for your work.

 

Love to you,

Angela

 

I hope your walk in the sun helped yesterday. The sun does wonders for my dark moods.

 

I was reading your posts and thinking about some things from the seminar and the PCSD book. Especially:  When you are in pain, you just can't care about anyone or anything else.

 

People are hurting you because they are in pain.  You are hurting yourself even more because you are in pain....and wracked with guilt. You have to eliminate unproductive guilt to be happy.  

 

Here are some excerpts from the PCSD book, pages 298-299:

 

 

 

 

I can see guilt as the enemy of happiness. It's just like in RL when they say "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"  The same can be asked of guilt. So when you are beating yourself up because you aren't getting things done, perhaps try to remember that when you are in pain other stuff just doesn't matter at that moment - and that's why you're not waking up focused on dishes, laundry, schoolwork, etc.  Once you start feeling more loved those other tasks become a piece of cake.  Forgive yourself.  I have all kinds of crazy stuff that I'm forgiving myself for lately......some of which you and I talked about in Phoenix, the rest of which you have no clue! And it ain't dirty dishes!

 

Love you.......and hope you are feeling loved.

 

-Brenda