newcomer

So, here's my question.  Does "real love" mean that I must accept anything she does and continue dealing with all the significant drama in her life...?

 

She was the apple of my eye until about 4 years ago, when a "bad boy" introduced her to drugs, alcohol and sex.  She moved out at 18 and in with her boyfriend, attempted suicide a few months later, moved in with another boy... had abuse issues there and moved in with yet another boy after a few months.  Came back home after going through a drug related arrest and rehab.  As soon as she got back on her feet, she was back to her old ways, found a new boyfriend and moved in with him.  She now works in a strip club.

 

Over the years, she has cussed me out countless times, spit in my face, taken swings at me and actually hit me in the face... all in response to what I believe were firm but loving rebukes of her behavior and lifestyle.

 

My wife continues to "save" her from herself.  A 3am phone call from her the other night... from jail... sent my wife into a 3 day frenzy of trying to scrape up the $3500 needed to bail her out.   I wanted to simply leave her in jail.  At least she would be safe from her abusive boyfriend and away from her normal drug-crazed friends.   In the end, it was her friends that bailed her out.

 

There have been times when she apologizes and behaves well for a while.  But inevitably, she goes back into her high drama lifestyle.

 

I love my daughter, but there's a limit to what I will continue to do for her... and I feel as if I've reached it.  Not because my love is limited, but because I feel she needs to deal with the consequences of her own choices.  I'm done having her over to our house for holidays and having to listen to her course language.  I'm frustrated with having to deal with her relationship issues interfering with keeping my own marriage intact.  I don't want to hear about situations at the strip club, etc, etc, etc.

 

I'm thinking about divorce, as my wife has insisted that our daughter needs to move back in with us.  I've told my wife that if our daugther comes back home, I'm leaving.  My main reason for this stance is that we have a 16 year old son... a really good kid.... still at home.  He doesn't need this in his life.  His sister is a terrible role model and bad example for him.

 

If I'm able to do so, I plan to have my son come with me if/when I leave.

 

Any replies would be greatly appreciated.

 

Tim