Pearl: How can I be more loving

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Pearls and Principles Call,  Coach Joanne Metzger. If you can't attend the call, you can participate in the discussion by answering the question at the bottom of this post !  

Pearl: Rather than asking, "What do I want from this person or situation?" I need to ask, "How can I be more loving here?"

This can be a tough one, because if we even need to ask the question, it means we're NOT feeling completely loved and full. If we were in that wonderfully peaceful place of having plenty of Real Love to share, it wouldn't even cross our minds to ask what we want from the other person. We'd know that whatever we need, we're responsible for getting it and capable of finding it, and we'd automatically love the other person without expectation of getting anything in return.

This pearl speaks to that challenge of choosing to be loving even when we're not perfectly full ourselves. While this may seem to be in conflict with another pearl, "I can't give what I don't have. I must find Real Love for myself," it really isn't. While it's true that we really aren't able to love unconditionally if we've never felt loved that way ourselves, if we wait until we're perfectly full all the time to offer Real Love to others, we'll be waiting a very long time (like forever!) And we won't be able to be fully happy, because happiness needs three parts - it's not just feeling loved, it also has to include being loving and being responsible.

As we learn more about Real Love, and begin to take the steps to find it, we'll have moments when we feel truly loved just as we are. We'll learn that it is possible, and we'll begin to experience glimpses of what it feels like to feel full and loved. That's when we can make the choice to step out and take loving actions even when we are not completely filled. It takes courage. It takes faith! It takes being willing to step outside of our pain and fear and victimy, self-righteous feelings and do it anyway. It's not easy, but the payoff (our own happiness) is well worth the effort. 

If we want to take the next step to taking control of our own happiness; if we want to step it up a notch and really get these principles to work in our lives, we have to make this choice. 

Here’s the question. Think of a situation or relationship that challenges your ability to be loving. What will you do this week to bring love to that person or situation, even if you don't feel like it?

Edited by rlpkaren - 17 Nov 2010 at 8:58pm

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rlpkaren Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Real Love Coach Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708	Post Options Post Reply Quote rlpkaren Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Pearl: How can I be more loving Posted: 23 Aug 2010 at 1:30pm
	Pearls and Principles Call, Coach Joanne Metzger. If you can't attend the call, you can participate in the discussion by answering the question at the bottom of this post ! Pearl: Rather than asking, "What do I want from this person or situation?" I need to ask, "How can I be more loving here?" This can be a tough one, because if we even need to ask the question, it means we're NOT feeling completely loved and full. If we were in that wonderfully peaceful place of having plenty of Real Love to share, it wouldn't even cross our minds to ask what we want from the other person. We'd know that whatever we need, we're responsible for getting it and capable of finding it, and we'd automatically love the other person without expectation of getting anything in return. This pearl speaks to that challenge of choosing to be loving even when we're not perfectly full ourselves. While this may seem to be in conflict with another pearl, "I can't give what I don't have. I must find Real Love for myself," it really isn't. While it's true that we really aren't able to love unconditionally if we've never felt loved that way ourselves, if we wait until we're perfectly full all the time to offer Real Love to others, we'll be waiting a very long time (like forever!) And we won't be able to be fully happy, because happiness needs three parts - it's not just feeling loved, it also has to include being loving and being responsible. As we learn more about Real Love, and begin to take the steps to find it, we'll have moments when we feel truly loved just as we are. We'll learn that it is possible, and we'll begin to experience glimpses of what it feels like to feel full and loved. That's when we can make the choice to step out and take loving actions even when we are not completely filled. It takes courage. It takes faith! It takes being willing to step outside of our pain and fear and victimy, self-righteous feelings and do it anyway. It's not easy, but the payoff (our own happiness) is well worth the effort. If we want to take the next step to taking control of our own happiness; if we want to step it up a notch and really get these principles to work in our lives, we have to make this choice. Here’s the question. Think of a situation or relationship that challenges your ability to be loving. What will you do this week to bring love to that person or situation, even if you don't feel like it? Edited by rlpkaren - 17 Nov 2010 at 8:58pm

RoknRob121 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Wise Person Joined: 04 Jul 2007 Location: Hilo, Hawaii Online Status: Offline Posts: 870	Post Options Post Reply Quote RoknRob121 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 18 Dec 2010 at 3:49pm
	Hi Karen, Just for Today I will be a better listener demonstrate loving & acceptance non-verbally and make sure I'm filled with enough Real Love to be peaceful, loving & happy. Being responsible for my Happiness, ~ Robin in Hawaii ~ Ph. 808-463-6386
	~ I'm the one to call when you are ready to tell the TRUTH about it all~ 808-494-1505

RealLoveCoach Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 19 Jan 2011 Location: Dallas, texas Online Status: Offline Posts: 27	Post Options Post Reply Quote RealLoveCoach Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jan 2011 at 6:23pm
	When I practice being more loving, others bother me less and I find that humble, peaceful centered place in my heart and I can breathe easier. Sometimes just listening to someone is the only thing I can do, and that's enough!