Work Anxiety

Skypeid: Magicallad

   Am back at work tomorrow after a fortnights holiday.  The first week it took me to recover and stop worrying about work and the second I started work again for the beginning of term.  However, my experiences of the last few months of dealing with a utterly controlling boss, an inefficient middle management and a constantly changing goal posts means that I am awake in the middle of the night again.

Personally, the thing that worries me the most, is that I realise that when in this kind of situation the fear doesn't make me work harder - it makes me run.  That means I work slower, with less effectiveness and protect myself by saying I don't care.  This is a foolish defense mechanism.  Please help!

On a people level, the people I work with are lovely, even the scarey tyrant, but the methods and organisation do not work to get the best, not just out of me, but a number of others as well.  

How do I show love to those who need it and how can I overcome my own defense mechanism and be more effective?

RJ

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postgradpurple Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 12 Oct 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 47	Post Options Post Reply Quote postgradpurple Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Work Anxiety Posted: 18 Apr 2010 at 11:29pm
	Am back at work tomorrow after a fortnights holiday. The first week it took me to recover and stop worrying about work and the second I started work again for the beginning of term. However, my experiences of the last few months of dealing with a utterly controlling boss, an inefficient middle management and a constantly changing goal posts means that I am awake in the middle of the night again. Personally, the thing that worries me the most, is that I realise that when in this kind of situation the fear doesn't make me work harder - it makes me run. That means I work slower, with less effectiveness and protect myself by saying I don't care. This is a foolish defense mechanism. Please help! On a people level, the people I work with are lovely, even the scarey tyrant, but the methods and organisation do not work to get the best, not just out of me, but a number of others as well. How do I show love to those who need it and how can I overcome my own defense mechanism and be more effective? RJ

Pesky Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 21 Nov 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 14	Post Options Post Reply Quote Pesky Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 20 Apr 2010 at 5:34pm
	Hi it's me! Sorry that you were up in the night - you didn't mention that when we've chatted... I guess the answer to all this is to find more real love for yourself - then you'll find that you have the resources within to relate to those around you that are empty and afraid. As Greg says its always about real love. The trouble is that is not a quick fix - it takes time.... and you know that anything I say to you I am saying to myself as well!

Magical Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Real Love Coach Joined: 17 May 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 151	Post Options Post Reply Quote Magical Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 25 Apr 2010 at 11:22am
	Hi RJ Am back at work tomorrow after a fortnights holiday. The first week it took me to recover and stop worrying about work and the second I started work again for the beginning of term. * Understandable. You’ve probably had this situation many times before. Now you have a chance to plan the next one better and learn from this one. It’s entirely your choice. Decide to talk to someone that can see you, and help you make better choices. However, my experiences of the last few months of dealing with a utterly controlling boss, an inefficient middle management and a constantly changing goal posts means that I am awake in the middle of the night again. * If you go around blaming every one for your life’s problem – is that going to make you happy? What do you do and how do you behave with these unloving, uncaring controlling, inefficient and constantly changing direction people? Personally, the thing that worries me the most, is that I realise that when in this kind of situation the fear doesn't make me work harder - it makes me run. That means I work slower, with less effectiveness and protect myself by saying I don't care. This is a foolish defense mechanism. Please help! * has someone ever told you about your warts – have you been willing to listen and hear them and believe that they care about your happiness? On a people level, the people I work with are lovely, even the scarey tyrant, but the methods and organisation do not work to get the best, not just out of me, but a number of others as well. * What is true and what is not – can you work through that? How do I show love to those who need it and how can I overcome my own defense mechanism and be more effective? *** you do not have to show love to those that need it when you haven’t got it to give – make sense? You have to lead by example by getting what you need and finding wise people that will love you.
	Skypeid: Magicallad