I'm not attracted to heavy set women

      In my area the single people within my age bracket are mostly heavy and overweight.  Whenever I go out on a date with one, I feel afraid and embarrased to be with them. I have feelings of disgust when I think about being closer to them. I'm not thin either but I'm not overweight.   Is it wrong to not want someone who is overweight? I've met some really good women but could never stay with them.  What can I do to get over these feeling when I'm out on a date?

In my area the single people within my age bracket are mostly heavy and overweight. 

Edited by RoknRob121 - 08 Apr 2012 at 12:28am

Hi Faunia,
Yeah, you're seeing clearly the choices we do have
It's a Lifetime of conditional Love that we are "un-learning" so we can experience the results we were looking for!
Way to go, Sister!
Nice meeting you In Real Love

Aloha,
~ Robz ~


Edited by RoknRob121 - 08 Apr 2012 at 12:29am

This topic seems to have gathered considerable confusion, and I decided to delete the last two posts since they were pretty much invitations to play on the Field of Death, which I'll happily decline.    I’ll take the time now to answer an earlier post's concerns and questions. 

 

***Absolutely, although people throw around the term "love unconditionally" pretty loosely.

 

I have dated people in the past who were wonderful people but had such a different lifestyles than mine, or ways of looking at the world, or life... And while I appreciate their differences, I can't necessarily imagine spending my life with them and being intimate with them because of these differences.  Though continuing a friendship would be wonderful.

 

***Sounds very rational to me.  We don’t love every person the same, and some are easier to love than others.  As humans, we have the power of choice, and we can certainly decide what characteristics we want in a potential mate (for example, the same religious views, non-smoker, someone who doesn’t drink or drug, and so on).  If on this list we add too heavy, too short, too tall, too skinny, not pretty enough, etc. we are potentially eliminating the perfect person. 

 

Does this just mean that I was not able to love them unconditionally?

 

***Loving people unconditionally is a target, not a fact. We can’t just decide “I’ll love Everybody unconditionally, yes I will” and expect it to happen. Even after years of practicing the Real Love principles, we love intermittently, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes with conditions. A person has to have sincere desire to give up Getting and Protecting behaviors and then learn and practice telling the truth about their flaws, learn what feeling loved is like, be as loving as possible to others, and act with responsibility. 

 

If that is the case, if I am able to love everyone completely unconditionally, I could date and potentially marry everyone?!?

 

***Potentially, yes, and highly unlikely.  To love everyone completely unconditionally you would have to be a very saint-like person. And keep in mind that instantaneous physical attraction to others is generally based on a grab for praise, power, pleasure, or safety. It wears thin eventually without something else to sustain it.

Edited by rlpkaren - 10 Jul 2011 at 4:15pm

Xman25 asks how to get over the situation where he doesn't find woman who are more overweight than the "normal" and I'm going to point of a few questions which some people might find offensive, and I would like to add that it's only ment as a wider reflection by asking the potensially essensial questions.

Q 1: Is it possible that you are not comfortable around heavier set woman because you just don't find them attractive?
Q 2: Could it be hard because you have noticed that many heavier set women struggle with self-esteem issues and might be harder to receive real love from and is therefore desperate to find someone who wants to have a relationship with them?
Q 3: Could it be that you deep inside believe that women who are healthy (both mentally and psysically) actually take care of their bodies?

DeathereX




Edited by DeathereX - 28 Sep 2011 at 5:38pm