Teaching about bullying...

Hello Wise people!

My daughter has been bullied lately at school by a bigger girl, and she keeps talking about it, even though the school year is finally past. This girl has both physically and verbally bullied both my girl and others at school, and has now been asked to not return for the upcoming school year because of too many complaints by parents. (this is a small charter school that teaches Garner's Multiple Intelligences, including interpersonnal and extrapersonnal communication)

I have been trying to teach my girl that this other child is just drowning, and  her actions are G/P behaviors. Any advise on how to teach your child to "see" other children who are trying to do them harm, and how to overcome it?

Thanks and love to you!

-Stacey



Edited by RLL Stacey - 04 Jun 2012 at 10:46am

Hi Stacey,

Edited by bren - 05 Jun 2012 at 1:34pm

Hello all!

I had  a nice phone conversation with Greg this morning, and tried to take some decent notes to relay to you, bear with me as I am completely awful at relaying information/paraphrasing, I'm sure his blog post will be much more eloquent:

#1- The most important thing we have to tell our kids is that we cannot solve this problem for them. There will always be unkind people around. They are unhappy. This goes for adults too. He suggested to constantly show examples of unkind/bullies that are around us, in the media, on television etc.

#2- Bullies give the children an opportunity to teach your child how to be loving. They also teach the limits of loving, and that sometimes we fail at being loving. And that it is ok.

#3- Teach your child that the bully is just as much pain from lack of love as the quiet kid in the  corner. Both children are suffering from not having Real Love but are only expressing it differently.

#4- Teach your child to say "I really care about you AND I am also going to be friends with ____" (This is when a bully is trying to control who your child will be friends with) and  that they can accept your child's friendship as a gift.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Greg  also suggested  though for children to wear whistles which I think is genius, for when children are bullied on the playground or even in the classroom. Yes, it will inconvenience the teachers or aides (who he suggests can be bullies themselves),  but will also immediately give attention to what is going on instead of after the fact. I think this will also aleviate the option for a bully to deny any wrong-doing as there will be immediate witnesses to the event.

He also recommended that parents don't give up reporting/bringing attention to bullying to administrators. He hit this home to me by stating that you wouldn't let a child molester near a school, so there should  be the same "zero-tolerance" for bullies. It is all the same pain from lack of Real Love.

I hope this helps other families dealing with the epidemic  just as much as it is helping me,

love Stacey & Justice




Edited by RLL Stacey - 06 Jun 2012 at 7:49pm

Stacey,