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Input on responsibilities... |
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RLL Stacey 
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Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: N. Arizona Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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 Topic: Input on responsibilities...Posted: 23 May 2012 at 9:52pm |
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Hello Wise people!
I am re-reading chapter 9 of the parenting book and trying to figure out how to create an assignment board/responsibilities for a single mom/one child household. Every example given is for multi-child household... If you have a suggestion on how to implement it, or have a way it works in YOUR house, I'd LOVE to hear it! Also, my daughter is asking for an allowance, which I'm against, for her chores. I just see it as a bribe to get her to do things, but she counters with a G/P excuse that "All her friends get allowances!"  I don't want to walk on her field of death on this one, how do you teach responsibility against what is "popular?" How should I appropriately respond?Thank you! Love Stacey Edited by RLL Stacey - 24 May 2012 at 9:07am |
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"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-HH the Dalia Lama |
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mhunter627
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Joined: 30 Aug 2010 Location: Rome, GA Online Status: Offline Posts: 10 |
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Posted: 24 May 2012 at 2:02pm |
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Kudos on getting into the Parenting book. I'm probably the worst person to reply to this, but here goes. Children need to be loved and taught, so getting an allowance is awonderful opportunity begin teaching financial responsibility. And, we all work at jobs with expectations of an income from it, so work=$. Incentives are great! I was told to try giving my son incentives to potty train, lol, and I've been doing it ever since. No work, no allowance, is certainly motivational! Of course, many chores around the house are just necessary and part of life, so you get to choose how it looks for you. Hope this helps....
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rlpkaren
Real Love Coach 
Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708 |
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Posted: 24 May 2012 at 4:01pm |
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I just listened to a video chat the other day where Greg talked about allowances. I agree with Myra that children should get an allowance because it's how they learn to manage money. The allowance would increase as they get older to possibly include school supplies or clothes. I'll check on the video chat date and post it here. Hey Myra, nice to see you in the Forums. I openly "bribed" Kenny with money when he was a kid in order to modify behavior. Might do it differently now. Children also need to learn how to work and be responsible, because if they don't they can't be happy. I don't believe, though, that Greg tied the work to the allowance because they aren't related. Children need to learn that as part of the household they have to contribute. And they need to be loved/taught over and over. If it appears that isn't working and chores aren't performed, then consequences need to be discussed and applied.
Hope that helps. Love and hugs, Karen
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Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.
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RLL Stacey
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Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: N. Arizona Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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Posted: 24 May 2012 at 4:27pm |
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Thank you both, I guess I can compromise on the allowance, I usually just buy her what she wants once her chores are done. If it's a small item, that just a few chores, something bigger then everything gets done, so I guess I AM bribing her in a way...
 What is an effective way to distribute chores between us? I want to add more responsibility for her age, and need to be more consistent, which I haven't been the best at lately with everything going on in our lives. She is 9 and can: -pick up her room before bed - put away all her clothes - help sort laundry/add to the wash - unload the dishwasher for items that are in lower cabinets/drawers/silverware - load the dishwasher * this is just new a few weeks ago* - clean the cat box - assist with the guinea pig cages - feed /water all the pet's bowels - wipe down/clean the bathroom - vacuum her bedroom and the rug in the living room - get the mail daily - bring garbage up from the curb  Have you used a chore chart or the sorts to help your kids stay on track? Namaste, Stacey Edited by RLL Stacey - 24 May 2012 at 4:32pm |
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"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-HH the Dalia Lama |
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rlpkaren
Real Love Coach
Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708 |
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Posted: 24 May 2012 at 7:36pm |
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Greg describes a lot of the things you're asking in the Parenting book. Do you have it yet?
Love, Karen PS Sorry, didn't read the posts above your last question saying you had the book. Having a bit of a "duh" moment.
Edited by rlpkaren - 25 May 2012 at 9:00am |
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Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.
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RLL Stacey
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Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: N. Arizona Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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Posted: 25 May 2012 at 8:27am |
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Yup, got it and re-reading it again to let it soak in better....
The only problem I'm having is how to modify and implement with only the TWO of us, as all his examples are for multi-child households! |
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"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-HH the Dalia Lama |
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rlpkaren
Real Love Coach
Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708 |
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Posted: 25 May 2012 at 8:55am |
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Yes, I can see that. Not fair to assume that one child would do all the chores that would be divided among a group! She will, perhaps, as she gets older, have to shoulder more since you work full time. That's the way of it though.
Love, K
Edited by rlpkaren - 25 May 2012 at 8:58am |
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Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.
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RLL Stacey
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Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: N. Arizona Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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Posted: 25 May 2012 at 9:19am |
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I just HAPPENED to be watching week 7 of the video-archives and found the clip on allowance vs chores:
mms://67.199.127.39/video/coaching/chat007.wmv Greg discusses it around 36 minutes in.... For future reference for others reading as well! love, Stacey |
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"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-HH the Dalia Lama |
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mhunter627
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Joined: 30 Aug 2010 Location: Rome, GA Online Status: Offline Posts: 10 |
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Posted: 25 May 2012 at 11:58am |
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Wow, Stacey, you hit the jackpot! I'm glad you shared... I didn't realize the vidchats were back online. Gold! Paydirt! Oh my gosh! lol. Hope to hear you on the conference calls!
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RLL Stacey
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Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: N. Arizona Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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Posted: 25 May 2012 at 6:09pm |
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Thanks Myra,
I'm starting to come out of my shell and call in, and actually participate, so maybe you'll hear my ramblings one day soon! - me |
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"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-HH the Dalia Lama |
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