9 yo acting out...

Hello!

I am 3 months into learning Real Love, and am just finishing the RL in parenting book. My 9 year old  daughter is acting out against her Nana, who tries to control her by buying clothes she doesn't like, guilt-tripping her for not calling/face-timing her enough, etc... (this is my ex-husband's mother)

My daughter is going to visit her Nana for the summer with her father. How do I go about talking to her about her Nana's getting/protecting behaviors and how to handle them? At the moment my daughter is getting/protecting/attacking by saying not-so-nice things about her Nana as well as acting like a victim (look what Nana is doing to me). I want to break this cycle of victimhood and  teach my daughter but don't know how to go about it.

I have a background in Early Childhood Education and have worked on "I" messages, but that to me after reading RL just drowns in victimhood....

Thanks Wise people!

With love,
Stacey

  

Hello! Thank you for your Wisdom!

Her nana and father live in separate states, so it was going to be a split vacation, but now none of it is going to happen (their choice, their loss?)  Her nana is blaming it on my girl's behavior and also that I am "getting my way" which I think is ironic, as I had just e-mailed them yesterday morning regarding travel arrangements. I don't think nana can  see that her own behavior is driving my girl away. I just keep talking every day about what certain behaviors  are, and how peole use them,and hope that my girl  will "catch on" soon and start to see her nana more clearly, as well as her own behavior.

I do have a few people to talk to, many of my friends though  want to drag me onto the Field of Death, which I am trying NOT to do at this point- I've been down that path before and it just leads to more suffering, not a very mindful  practice... I've just started to listen to conference calls and am waiting on an e-mail from a regional group leader-in-training that I feel comfortable with. I could always use more Wise people in my life, now that I'm taking the lea of faith, so  to speak...

Thank you Osha for seeing me, I appreciate your time and space with me in the Universe....  

With love,

Stacey