Tired of being alone & hurting

   I feel angry & depressed & empty.
I have been alone relationship wise for so long, I have texted & called ex's recently. I knew I could not be with them, some talked & seemed like I could be with them again, but myself wouldn't let me. I think I know there isn't real love for me there, so I can't accept that, but I'm so tired of being alone. I feel stuck, people showing up are just as bad, so I won't get past talking on the phone with them, I hear situations that I'm like nope no love for me just drowning. 

I am screaming at my kids because the empty alone feeling is so bad, I'm tired of not being held, just stuck & alone. 

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RebeccaE Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 30 Jun 2010 Location: Bakersfield Online Status: Offline Posts: 39	Post Options Post Reply Quote RebeccaE Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Tired of being alone & hurting Posted: 04 Apr 2012 at 8:41am
	I feel angry & depressed & empty. I have been alone relationship wise for so long, I have texted & called ex's recently. I knew I could not be with them, some talked & seemed like I could be with them again, but myself wouldn't let me. I think I know there isn't real love for me there, so I can't accept that, but I'm so tired of being alone. I feel stuck, people showing up are just as bad, so I won't get past talking on the phone with them, I hear situations that I'm like nope no love for me just drowning. I am screaming at my kids because the empty alone feeling is so bad, I'm tired of not being held, just stuck & alone.

RoknRob121 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Wise Person Joined: 04 Jul 2007 Location: Hilo, Hawaii Online Status: Offline Posts: 870	Post Options Post Reply Quote RoknRob121 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 05 Apr 2012 at 3:38pm
	Hi Becca, Making time to FILL you up \0/ I hear you & I feel you. You're absolutely lovable & acceptable, even when you're empty, lonely & full of fear. We've been here before. It makes absolute sense to me that you'd feel this way. You're also doing the right things by telling the TRUTH about your own selfishness & wanting to cling to ex's. The painfulness is "GRAND CANYON" huge, I absolutely get it. Let's get back to basics, ok? Are you making Real Love calls regularly? Do you have a Coach? How many times a day are you TRUTH-telling so that you don't use lying, attacking, victimhood, clinging & running and an enswer for your empty & fears? The foundation you're choosing to build a relationship on is faulty. First things first, my dear. You need to repair your foundation. Does that make sense? You need to feel loved while you're making mistakes and admitting them to us. You also need to be loving, especially to your children-cuz IF you don't want histoery to repeat istself in their lives, DON"T repeat your history. They learn from you how to be honest. they learn from you how to use G & P behaviors, get it? The next step then is to be responsible for your Happiness. It may be helpful to re-read the Real Love Marriage Vows so you can SEE clearly what being Responsible for your happiness looks like. ALL this needs to be in place in order for you to be well enough to engage in a Real Love Relationship. Honestly, I SEE your addiction to Imitations, clearly. I also did the same, so You're NOT alone here. I'm NOT going to withdraw my love & acceptance from you. Make time to fill yourself up-PURSUE that for a time until you can heal from all this nonsense & be more loving, responsible, etc... You will SEE results, Feel it and convey it with more consistency. I TRUST in this priocess with ALL my heart. \0/ Sincerely loving you & caring about your Happiness, ~ Robin ~
	~ I'm the one to call when you are ready to tell the TRUTH about it all~ 808-494-1505

RebeccaE Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Group Member Joined: 30 Jun 2010 Location: Bakersfield Online Status: Offline Posts: 39	Post Options Post Reply Quote RebeccaE Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Apr 2012 at 8:40am
	No, Robyn... I'm not making calls regularly. Calls help when I'm on the phone, but after hanging up I honestly go back to feeling lonely. I do things like invite friends over to share a meal, but I only have a few, none in real love or have even read the book. No, coach..can't afford rt now. I think I'm a big angry, as it was easier not knowing the difference between conditional love & real. I haven't put myself out looking for someone, until recently. Been almost 2 years. Never read marriage book, didn't see a need as I've never been married. My kids are learning how to be a lonely single person from me, not how to have a healthy loving relationship. Heck, no relationship at all. I was hugged by a friend yesterday and I'm grateful, but it is different being hugged by a partner. I generally miss (aware of selfishness) my ex's that I contacted. Spending time,hearing about life. I pray they are happy. I don't understand their anger, I don't understand most things about interacting with people.

RoknRob121 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Wise Person Joined: 04 Jul 2007 Location: Hilo, Hawaii Online Status: Offline Posts: 870	Post Options Post Reply Quote RoknRob121 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Apr 2012 at 3:24pm
	Hi Becca, Joyfully processing with you: No, Robyn... I'm not making calls regularly. Can you identify the fear in making these calls so that you will continue making them to "feel loved?" Calls help when I'm on the phone, but after hanging up I honestly go back to feeling lonely. I hear you, here. Would it be possible to watch the FREE On-line Seminar at this time and continue posting to eliminate that feeling? Possibly look at the "judgement"you are making that may be in the way of your feeling loved & less lonely? I do things like invite friends over to share a meal, but I only have a few, none in real love or have even read the book. This is one way to practice being loving, depending on how full of unconditional love you are. It's also an opportunity to share the website,books, etc...to start a "Loving Group" in your home. Usually, it's your peacefulness and Happiness creates this kind of opportunity-because they will ask you what you've done to become so happy. You're NOT there, yet and it's OK. This is still a learning & growing process for you and something you can consider. No, coach..can't afford rt now. No pressure. When you decide how much your Happiness is worth to you, I trust you'll make the right choice that contributes to your Happiness. Right now,you've been paying more than cash for your own unhappiness as well as adding to your children's, too. YOU are still lovable & acceptable and so are they. Let that information sink into your heart for awhile. Don't attempt to do anything, until you are convinced "It's ALWAYS about Real Love" I think I'm a big angry, as it was easier not knowing the difference between conditional love & real. That's absolutely your choice to make. A selfish, unloving & destructive choice. It doesn't contribute to your Happiness at all. The healing power of Real Love can only be felt when you are angry, so keep making those calls and tell the TRUTH about it all. You won't choose to be angry much after that. I haven't put myself out looking for someone, until recently. Been almost 2 years. I can SEE why and I am gonna love you thru this. Never read marriage book, didn't see a need as I've never been married. It's not a requirement here. The Marriage Vows is a post of Greg's Blog-You can find it in the Marriage Forum under Real Love Marriage Vows. I posted it for all to use as a reference. You will see how a person can make a commitment to being responsible for their own happiness. It's just information. Gives you a starting point for yourself in relating with your children and potential partners. My kids are learning how to be a lonely single person from me, not how to have a healthy loving relationship. Clearly,they learn by your example. All they are telling you by their behaviors is that they need to feel loved. Make this a family activity. Watch the FREE On-line Seminar together, like "Movie Night" have snacks available and then a short question & answer session for them. Make your calls then so someone can process with you & offer suggestions. This really can be a fun thing. MAIN thing is you're truth-telling about your mistakes. they will feel the love. It worked with me & my kids. You have nothing tolose by trying.~ Your choice~ more of what you're experiencing now or doing something different? Heck, no relationship at all. I was hugged by a friend yesterday and I'm grateful, but it is different being hugged by a partner. I generally miss (aware of selfishness) my ex's that I contacted. Spending time,hearing about life. I hear you. Nothing even compares to what it feels like to be loved for WHO you are., to have someone genuinely care about your Happiness and look lovingly into your eyes & just hold you. I absolutely get it. You can experience this with ALL of us in Real Love. You can find a partner in this loving community. You can find a healthy partner, when you become the kind of person who attracts one. It will happen for you,just don't give up! Your happiness is that important. I pray they are happy. Now that's loving & genuinely caring about their happiness. I don't understand their anger, I don't understand most things about interacting with people You don't have to. We know why people use Getting & Protecting Behaviors. ~ Emptiness & Fear ~ We know why we use them, too. You're so lovable & acceptable to me and countless others in Real Love. Keep filling your supply up & gifting it away as a gift freely givento your children. Eventually, you'll becomeso peaceful, loving & happy that potential partners will gravitate towards you. Keep the faith \0/ ~ Robin ~
	~ I'm the one to call when you are ready to tell the TRUTH about it all~ 808-494-1505