loveless feedback

Real Love

   HI, lovely people, im new on this site and have been reading your questions and responses and have been loving them.
i have a query and need help, 
i have been dating my boyfriend for 3months now and it has had its turmoil and very good times, 
he is very hard and gives feedback that is harsh but can be very loving and warm as well, 
problem is i am the one instigating the relationship always asking for us to meet and talk and he does respond either a yes or a no, which is not ok, as i have thought that a guy is the one who should be running after the girl and making the moves,

he does however wright me letters of love and i love receiving them, i just dont like the way he resopnds to me at times and i want to learn to love him unconditionally 

the last response from him was ' If  I want to wear the pants in this relationship he does not give a damn especially about simple things like this " buy that meaning my telling him how i felt bout that 

can i get your responses thank you all so much

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optimist Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List New Member Joined: 27 Feb 2012 Location: south africa Online Status: Offline Posts: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote optimist Report Post Quote Reply Topic: loveless feedback Posted: 27 Feb 2012 at 9:13am
	HI, lovely people, im new on this site and have been reading your questions and responses and have been loving them. i have a query and need help, i have been dating my boyfriend for 3months now and it has had its turmoil and very good times, he is very hard and gives feedback that is harsh but can be very loving and warm as well, problem is i am the one instigating the relationship always asking for us to meet and talk and he does respond either a yes or a no, which is not ok, as i have thought that a guy is the one who should be running after the girl and making the moves, he does however wright me letters of love and i love receiving them, i just dont like the way he resopnds to me at times and i want to learn to love him unconditionally the last response from him was ' If I want to wear the pants in this relationship he does not give a damn especially about simple things like this " buy that meaning my telling him how i felt bout that can i get your responses thank you all so much

rlpkaren Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Real Love Coach Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Location: Virgnia USA Online Status: Offline Posts: 708	Post Options Post Reply Quote rlpkaren Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 27 Feb 2012 at 10:03am
	Hi Optimist. The Forums is actually a place created by Dr. Greg Baer to discuss the principles of Real Love and how to apply them to your life. One of the primary principles of Real Love is the Law of Choice, which states that everybody has the right to choose what they say and do. Your boyfriend gets to make his own choices, as do you. While that might sound harsh, it's really not. A relationship is based on two people making independent choices. While it would be nice if he would behave in the way you want, your expectations that he do so is keeping you from being happy. I'd suggest that you send for a copy of the Real Love book by Dr. Baer--or as an alternative, the Real Love in Dating book. There is also a ton of free information on the website, including Module 1 of the Essentials of Real Love. The answers you'll receive here will make much more sense if you do that. Real Love can and does change lives! Love to you, KarenH Certified Real Love Coach
	Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.

optimist Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List New Member Joined: 27 Feb 2012 Location: south africa Online Status: Offline Posts: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote optimist Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 27 Feb 2012 at 10:12am
	thank you karen i ctually have read the book and listened to Dr. Baer there is a podcast he did on radical honesty and what men really want, i must say what you advised is very helpfull. it is kinda hard not having expectations, as the expectations you haveon someone will always dissapoint one.