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julieann_jeppesen View Drop Down
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Joined: 30 Oct 2011
Location: Hudson, WI
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Post Options Post Options   Quote julieann_jeppesen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: RL - Local Groups?
    Posted: 30 Oct 2011 at 6:34pm

My name is Julie, my son is 18 months old and likes to stand on the furniture.  I'm really new, to this although I've read the Real Love in Relationships book years ago and have continually tried to apply it in my relationships, although, I can't say how successfully... I'm just now finding out about ways I can get real love.  Before, I was doing my best to apply what I was learning, but it's VERY difficult to come up with Real Love by yourself for yourself.  I've tried telling people the truth about myself and they're just like - "yeah, what does that have to do with me?"  So although I've been telling the truth about myself, no one I've told has actually really CARED about it.  I don't even know if that applies.   

I need to say that the first real love I've ever felt was from Greg when I called him on Friday.  I am trying to raise my son using Real Love - and I'm reading the Real Love in Parenting book - VERY SLOWLY.  I know I'm screwing up some, and I'm trying, but right now I have no one I can call to get any real love... well, besides Greg, I guess.  My family, including my husband, is fighting the idea of Real Love even though they really don't know what it is - they have the misconception that it's just permissiveness.  I know it's not, but I can't explain it and they won't read.
 
I feel alone and scared a lot of the time and really don't have anyone to love and accept me.  I was wondering if there was a way to find out if there's any sort of RL support groups in my area that I could meet with... I don't know if this idea is old fashioned, but having a face to put with the voice or name of someone who loves me seems only natural to me.
 
Anyway, I want to thank anyone and everyone who reads this.  I appreciate your time and am truly grateful for you all.
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rlpkaren View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Location: Virgnia USA
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Post Options Post Options   Quote rlpkaren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Oct 2011 at 10:07pm

Hi Julie.  Welcome to the Forums.  I'm glad you're here. Tongue  I really don't know of a Real Love group in your state (much less your town).  Right now, your best bet for contact with others in the RL community is on the conference calls.  You are right--you can't feel loved by a book.  You'd be surprised how quickly you learn to recognize voices on the calls.  That becomes the new normal.  You can always see what others look like on Facebook if it's important tyo you. You will find people to love and accept you on the calls. There is a call list (the largest one compiled by Sharon Winningham, a coach in Phoenix).  The list is a little scary for newbies (and for many, actually) because you have no idea who they are.  That's why getting the names and numbers of others on a call is a little easier.

Most people are afraid of what they don't understand and not all are receptive to change--any kind of change. You can't make your husband buy into RL (as you've already experienced).  It will take a lot of courage on your part to keep studying the principles in spite of resistance from family.  However, as you become more relaxed about it and feel more loved, you'll change and others will notice. 
 
And Real Love is not about permissiveness.  Children act out because they don't feel loved--plain and simple.  Spanking and yelling at them isn't for their benefit.  It's just more convenient for parents.  It's a big leap for many and I understand that. 
 
I hope this reply is helpful for you and please feel free to write.  The conference call list is on one of the drop down menus on the home page of this website.  There are calls just about every day of the week.
 
Love to you,
KarenH
Certified Real Love Coach 


Edited by rlpkaren - 01 Nov 2011 at 10:06am
Learn from your mistakes and recognize that everything in life can be used as a lesson once you are willing to be teachable.
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nitta View Drop Down
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Joined: 27 Oct 2011
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Post Options Post Options   Quote nitta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Oct 2011 at 4:40pm
Hi Julie, I am new to this RL stuff too and like you am floundering a bit alone but just trying to follow the advice makes me feel better and I can see some changes in my daugther (2 years) just by me changing too.. all the best nitta
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julieann_jeppesen View Drop Down
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Joined: 30 Oct 2011
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Post Options Post Options   Quote julieann_jeppesen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2011 at 1:57pm

Thank you both for your responses.  It's difficult to get on a conference call when they're not scheduled around my son's naps - however, I was talking about Real Love more with my husband and he has said that he'd be willing to read the books!!  I was so excited.  He's not a big reader unless it's about the Rolling Stones or Agriculture.  I was so happy he was TRYING... trying to understand what I'm trying to do with our relationship and our son!  I wish you both the best and thank you for your acceptance.

Happy Thoughts!  Julie
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Julifer View Drop Down
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Joined: 10 Jul 2010
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Julifer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Nov 2011 at 8:48am
Hi Julie,

My husband resisted reading the books also. He is not a reader. I bought the books on cd and he listens to them on the way to work. He is in the car a lot. Also, there is a blog that Greg writes several times a week and they are short but very good analogies of Real Love in daily interactions. Whenever there is a new one, I forward it on to his email address. This way, he can choose to read them or not. He usually does.

https://reallovecoaching.net/blog/greg/archives.html

Good Luck, Julie!

Julie
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Sharon Winningham View Drop Down
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Joined: 27 Oct 2009
Location: Scottsdale AZ
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sharon Winningham Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Nov 2011 at 11:08am
Julie-Please give me a call or your e-mail and I will send you a list of all the volunteers who take Real Love phone calls.  You have so much support out there.  Call me and I will walk you through getting comfortable with making calls.  602-405-0144
Sharon Winningham, Certified Real Love Coach 602-405-0144
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