Real Love Forums : Drowning http://www.reallove.com/forums/ This is an XML content feed of; Real Love Forums : Miscellaneous : Drowning Sun, 19 May 2013 17:44:46 +0000 Fri, 29 Apr 2011 13:39:34 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 9.71 360 www.reallove.com/forums/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=170 Real Love Forums http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_images/forum_header.jpg http://www.reallove.com/forums/ Drowning : I just found this post from 2009... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=4236#4236 Author: rlpkaren
Subject: 170
Posted: 29 Apr 2011 at 1:39pm

I just found this post from 2009 and approved it.  Unfortunately there is no way for moderators to find posts placed at the back of an older inactive topic.  People would do far better to open a new topic and quote the original post (or something along those lines). 
Love,
Karen H
]]> Fri, 29 Apr 2011 13:39:34 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=4236#4236 Drowning : Thank you for your post, I know... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=1623#1623 Author: wistfulmystic
Subject: 170
Posted: 06 Apr 2009 at 2:45am

Thank you for your post, I know it is incredibly hard to admit our capacity and tendency to hurt others. 

When I was about 8 I nearly drowned and my parents didn't know about it, though they were at the place where it happened.  I was rescued by a stranger whose name I never found out.  For me that incident has always meant "survival is luck" and "you are not important to those who are supposed to love you".  And I guess I have spent my life passively, wanting proof of love by being bailed out.  It hasn't been a very successful strategy.  I'd really like to put this behind me but I'm not exactly sure how.

WM
 
]]> Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:45:28 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=1623#1623 Drowning : Gina, Good to get your feedback.... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=1206#1206 Author: JayQ
Subject: 170
Posted: 08 Jan 2009 at 12:40am

Gina,

Good to get your feedback. We are all susceptible to drowning again, and not seeing others as drowning when they are. Keeping in contact with those who see and love us helps us see and love others better.

Blessings and welcome to the forum.
JayQ]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 00:40:51 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=1206#1206 Drowning : Im enjoying going through all... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=1186#1186 Author: Gina Bean
Subject: 170
Posted: 06 Jan 2009 at 1:42am

Im enjoying going through all the posts, even though they may be old and wanted to take the opportunity to reply.
 
Wow! What an impacting story. I second that opinion that you paint a very vivid picture. It really brings everything to reality of how desperate you can feel when you lack real love. It truely does feel like its a life of death matter!
 
You really have humbled me for my inability to see others who are drowning and I appreciate that opportunity to grow. It really inspires me to want to share my knowledge of Real Love with those around me so they do not have to continue to live in such a tragic state of mind.  I just have to make sure that i can keep myself out of the pool also!
]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:42:51 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=1186#1186 Drowning : You're welcome Alex. Good... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=700#700 Author: JayQ
Subject: 170
Posted: 14 Jun 2008 at 10:06am

You're welcome Alex. Good point also about reaching out but not falling in with them.

Love as we can FREELY.

Thanks,
JayQ]]> Sat, 14 Jun 2008 10:06:25 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=700#700 Drowning : JayQ, You paint a very vivid... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=699#699 Author: AlexF
Subject: 170
Posted: 13 Jun 2008 at 10:44am

JayQ,
You paint a very vivid picture. It helps me to visualize where others are in their interactions with me. I can't always do it, but being a steady hand that not only reaches out, but does NOT fall into the pool with them is my daily goal. Thank you for sharing
 
Alex
RL Coach
]]> Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:44:04 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=699#699 Drowning : Thanks, Karen. I have gone through... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=698#698 Author: JayQ
Subject: 170
Posted: 08 Jun 2008 at 11:59pm

Thanks, Karen. I have gone through this with RL coaching and I see it as completely understandable. It still is good to share and be seen again.

One more event of many I felt like and acted like a victim, too. All of us were doing the best we could and we all survived. Seeing this helps to make better choices in life.

JayQ]]> Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:59:56 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=698#698 Drowning : Hi there JayQ. I would imagine... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=697#697 Author: rlpkaren
Subject: 170
Posted: 08 Jun 2008 at 8:49pm

Hi there JayQ.  I would imagine that when the adults saw you both in the pool drowning that they were terrified and in a panic as well.  Many people (me included) have used anger in situations where they are mortally afraid.  Since you were the "cause" of their fear (and therefore their pain) it was pretty natural to scold you.  Of course I'm not saying it made sense or that it was right--it wasn't.  You were only a child.  However, it does make it a little more understandable.
 
You said, "So it's true that when we are drowning, we don't even realize what we are doing to others. It's all about us. "  That is a brilliant observation.  Clap  There certainly is no need to feel ashamed about your behaviors while drowning.  Just see the truth of them and make changes to do something else. 
 
I, too, have a real drowning story.  There does come a point at which you lose the fear.
 
Blessings,
Karen
Certified Real Love Coach
]]> Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:49:47 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=697#697 Drowning : Thanks for the comments and sharing.... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=695#695 Author: JayQ
Subject: 170
Posted: 08 Jun 2008 at 5:10pm

Thanks for the comments and sharing. I am thankful for a RL family I am feeling more a part of.

I am seeing myself enjoy a bit more peace of mind and less anxiety and panic/fear.

JayQ]]> Sun, 08 Jun 2008 17:10:54 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=695#695 Drowning : HI JayQ, Great way to see yourself... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=692#692 Author: RoknRob121
Subject: 170
Posted: 05 Jun 2008 at 7:16pm

HI JayQ,
Great way to see yourself and others more clearly!
Incredible experience brother thanks for sharing that with us.
I am able to relate to the drowning analogy as well. Been drowning all my life up until the moment I picked up the phone and made my first Real Love Call.
It was then that I got Brave enough to call a Real Love Coach and ask Him to Mentor me thru my break-up until I could keep my feet on dry ground again.
That process took all of 2 years to accomplish, whew!
Now, I get to help others by being available to them for those moments when they are emptied, fearful and drowning also. It's really amazing what happens to us when we put ourselves into the greater service of others and Coach them along in their Real Love Journey, isn't it?
Look forward to seeing more of you as you continue learning & growing in Real Love.
Will be learning & growing alongside ya, too Wink
~ Aloha, Robin ~


Edited by RoknRob121 - 05 Jun 2008 at 7:18pm]]> Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:16:38 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=692#692 Drowning : Thanks for sharing your experiences... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=677#677 Author: Learning
Subject: 170
Posted: 01 Jun 2008 at 12:17pm

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.  You are so right that we make life all about us when we are drowning.  But we sure do like to blame others as we struggle to keep our heads above water.

Great to see you

Love
Learning
]]> Sun, 01 Jun 2008 12:17:28 +0000 http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=677#677 Drowning : When I was about one, I actually... http://www.reallove.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=170&PID=671#671 Author: JayQ
Subject: 170
Posted: 31 May 2008 at 4:53am

When I was about one, I actually did drown by falling into a bucket of water. I turned blue and stopped breathing and the whole bit. My father and a relative revived me, fortunately.

When I was about 5, we were visiting some family friends in Arizona and they had a pool. As I remember it, I jumped in to the deep end and to my surprise, went under, sucking up a bunch of water. I was literally drowning. In my panic and shear fear, I grabbed onto the only thing I could, the other family's little daughter, who was swimming nearby. She was probably about 3-4 years old, but a good little swimmer. I basically pulled her under to lift myself up to gasp for air. I can remember I only felt the fear and struggle just to breath one breath of fresh air as I was choking on water. Of course the little girl was now choking and drowning, too. She and I were pulled out and rescued by the adults. I remember I was scolded, and I felt ashamed at what I had done to this little girl. I never meant to hurt her.

It was a real situation and I can still recall the panic and instinct to do anything possible to get to air. As I am now in RL coaching, I have begun to shed some light on the pain and emotional panic I have been carrying. And I see how I have pulled others close to me "under" to try to ease the pain or panic in myself.

So it's true that when we are drowning, we don't even realize what we are doing to others. Its all about us. Learning about Real Love, the G&P behaviors, imitation love, etc., gives me hope and helps me see myself more and more truthfully. But there is one important difference. I am not scolded in this family.

And I am learning to not feel ashamed, but to love and be loved.

Thanks to all the coaches, conference callers, group members, Greg & Donna, all the Baers, and everyone else.

JayQ

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