Blessings,

KarenH

This is my first post to the forum. I can see that you have been busy in here. As to how I was introduced to RL...I came to a support group in Aug. 2004, invited by my former husband. Greg had spoken at the Unity Church in our community and he had attended and was attending a loving group. I could see that he was behaving differently. I was curious. After going to the group, I took home the 3 CD set RL The Truth About Love & Lies. I wanted to know more but with the least amount of committment...lol. After listening to the CDs several times, I was hooked. It was like my life passed before me. I could see how my expectations and requirements made it hard for people (esp my children) to be close to me. I've read almost all the books, heard Greg speak numerous times, continue to attend a weekly loving group and I'll see you in Atlanta! This work has changed my life dramatically, and my partner of 14 years is now taking Jonathan's class w/me.

Thanks for asking,

I was introduced to Real Love on Oct 12, 2005- by a lady who wanted to make copies of her cd's.

I listened to those cd's for the next few days - on my way to work, and on the way home.

Before long, I couldn't get enough of it- I had to listen to them while I was working and as soon as I got home, I was hurrying to get a journal ready to write these principles down and jot down notes cuz ALL of it was new information for me.

 

I started to get a clearer understanding about the dynamics that were taking place in ALL my relationships. I realized then, at 42 yrs old, that I was empty & afraid from a lifetime of not being sufficiently loved

 

I started to see how the use of Getting & Protecting behavior's were surfacing in my current relationship and that I was headed toward an inevitable break-up, almost quite suddenly. The woman who introduced Real Love to me became my first wisewoman. 

She also shared Greg's Book with me and told me about the website.

 

It took about 3 months of processing with her before I was able to get on-line

 and sign-up as a member.

My first month was Free and then I up-graded to the Full Membership package. I elected to get the books sent to me-It was like Christmas!!!

I was so happy because I was now equipped with everything I needed to help myself in my current relationships. She became my first TRUTH-telling partner for the next 3 months.

She gave me my own copy of cd's on March 3, 2006, as a gift for celebrating 7 years in Recovery.

 

The first people to notice a difference were my adult-aged children.

 I admitted to them my mistakes of being a Lousy Mother with the anger &  criticism, cussing & violent actions.  That opened up the doors of communication for us. it's the language of Real Love-the way we dialogue,  that is different for all of us, but with time and practice I was able to admit to every fault, mistake, fear & flaw I had at those moments. No more knots in my stomach, no more anxiety-just awesome truth-telling. Having their happiness as my focus made all the difference in the world for us. \0/

 

The second person to notice was my boss.

She noticed that I listened to the cd's ALL the time-in my car, while on my way home and while I was working in her office. There wasn't a time where Greg's voice wasn't heard.

She was like, "You literally live & breathe this stuff don't you?"

"Of course," I told her, "Once you've discovered the secret of Life & Love wouldn't you eat & breathe it, too?  Heck, wouldn't you also go the extra mile and share it with others?

Well, that's what I'm doing!"  I gave her a set of cd's too. After learning about Real Love, I resigned my position there, as a result of making better choices for myself. <Greg addressed this in Videochat #35>

 

I had become pregnant and now the rubber met the road. It was time to face the reality that my relationship was going down the relationship toilet rather fast! I had called the Baer's and was able to speak with Benjamin- he gave me a contact number for a  Real Love Coach who had been in Hawaii. That's MY KUUIPO, Andy!!! Who now lives in Arizona with his lovely wife Lori.

He helped me to process as well as get in touch with other women who could help me on a daily basis, as my days & nights unfolded-in this dying relationship.

I can accept that I did everything to contribute to my own unhappiness in that relationship and I realized that I couldn't get love from someone who simply didn't have it to give (what Greg refers to as "milking the bull")

 

 I admitted to these wisepeople that I used ALL the Getting  & Protecting behavior's and that it was getting harder to keep my head above water, while I was in this relationship.

 I wasn't able to consistently go one day without reverting back to using the G & P's.

My son was also instrumental in helping me to see that it was going nowhere, fast.

So, after months of trying Real Love and failing to become more loving & happier, I made the decision to "leave the pig" 

 

It was the hardest thing I've had to do in my Recovery, because I felt the detachment in the heartache and I went into more of a slump than I was in before I left him.

Needless to say, I lost the baby as a result of that slump and not caring about myself in the process of grieving.

 

It was only when I remembered that I was unconditionally loved that I snapped out of it and started to rejoice in life & living. Now, I could do the "something different" about the unhealthy choices I made before Real Love. Now I could work on becoming a more loving & happier individual! I was exactly where I needed to be to grow in Real Love The paradox of it all.

  

I hope to be able to see you for WHO you are and love you, unconditionally, as you make your way through Real Love.

Enjoy this Incredible Journey!

 

Sincerely, Robin

Relationship Coach in Training 2008

 

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